#wit

Nothing evokes the prurient like puritanism. ↗

— Christopher Moore

#wit #witty #witty

Plainly, this unwillingness to give ground even on unimportant disagreements is the symptom of some deepseated insecurity, as was my one-time fondness for making teasing remarks (which I amended when I read Anthony Powell's matter-of-fact observation that teasing is an unfailing sign of misery within) and as is my very pronounced impatience. The struggle, therefore, is to try and cultivate the virtuous side of these shortcomings: to be a genial host while only slightly whiffled, for example, or to be witty at the expense of one's own weaknesses instead of those of other people. ↗

— Christopher Hitchens

#teasing #witty

I'd watch your mouth", he said, tilting his head as he looked at my ID."The last lunker who laughed at her picture spent the night in the emergency room with a drink umbrella jammed up his nose". ↗

— Kim Harrison

#witch #witches

He'll be coming and going" he had said. "One day you'll see him and another you won't. He doesn't like being tied down--and of course he has other countries to attend to. It's quite all right. He'll often drop in. Only you mustn't press him. He's wild, you know. Not like a tame lion. ↗

— C.S. Lewis

#lion #witches

People think that stories are shaped by people. In fact, it's the other way around. ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#witches

Yeah, cause that would be a smart choice. So, I should just forget about the whole lying to me thing when you pronounce you will never do it again?” “Yes.” “You’d have a better chance getting a donkey to shit gold.” From Witch Devotions. Coming out 2012! ↗

— Elizabeth J. Kolodziej

#romance #snarky-quotes #the-last-witch-series #vampire #vampyre-kisses

Nanny Ogg knew how to start spelling 'banana', but didn't know how you stopped. ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#witches

I smell pancakes," Al said as he jauntily smacked Pierce's hat back on the witch's head. "Did the runt make you breakfast?" Al said, leaning over the stove. "Quickest way to a woman's crotch is through her gullet, eh?" he said, leering at Pierce, who was now rinsing out the percolator. "Is it working? I'd be curious to know. I'd buy her a cake or something. ↗

— Kim Harrison

#witches

She said 'Over my dead body!' so I took her at her word. ↗

— Diana Wynne Jones

#witches

Hedwig didn't return until the end of the Easter holidays. Percy's letter was enclosed in a package of Easter eggs that Mrs. Weasley had sent. Both Harry's and Ron's were the size of dragon eggs, and full of home-made toffee. Hermione's, however, was smaller than a chicken's egg. Her face fell when she saw it. "Your mum doesn't read Witch's Weekly, by any chance, does she, Ron?" she asked quietly. "Yeah," said Ron, whose mouth was full of toffee. "Gets it for the recipes." Hermione looked sadly at her tiny egg. ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#hermione-granger #ron-weasley #sad #witches