#witches

My mother brought me magicians and witches, because I was very ugly, really revolting. So she thought somebody had put a spell on me - this is the truth - so she made me drink some horrible terrifying potions, for year. ↗

— Roberto Benigni

#brought #drink #had #horrible #i

Everything, absolutely everything on this earth makes sense, and even the smallest things are worthy of our consideration. ↗

— Paulo Coelho

#witches

Most books on witchcraft will tell you that witches work naked. This is because most books on witchcraft were written by men. ↗

— Neil Gaiman

#men #witchcraft #witches #women #humor

In England we burnt redheads at the stake, because we thought they were witches. There are still young redheads in Britain getting ripped for having red hair. 'Oy, Ginger!' ↗

— Damian Lewis

#britain #burnt #england #getting #ginger

Although the most acute judges of the witches and even the witches themselves, were convinced of the guilt of witchery, the guilt nevertheless was non-existent. It is thus with all guilt. ↗

— Friedrich Nietzsche

#although #convinced #even #guilt #judges

The number of witches had everywhere become enormous. ↗

— John Jewel

#enormous #everywhere #had #number #witches

Yes, yes, mistress, I shall go and accomplish your task. Only—I was not only sent to kill the Leucrotta. There is a maiden in a tower—" At this the Witch spat, again rolling her marvelous eyes. "Those revolting creatures are always getting themselves locked up. If only they would stay that way. ↗

— Catherynne M. Valente

#maidens #towers #witches #humor

That's Third Thoughts for you. When a huge rock is going to land on your head, they're the thoughts that think: Is that an igneous rock, such as granite, or is it sandstone? - Tiffany Aching in Wintersmith ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#geology #humor #imagination #perspicacity #science

Witches are naturally nosy,” said Miss Tick, standing up. “Well, I must go. I hope we shall meet again. I will give you some free advice, though.” “Will it cost me anything?” “What? I just said it was free!” said Miss Tick. “Yes, but my father said that free advice often turns out to be expensive,” said Tiffany. Miss Tick sniffed. “You could say this advice is priceless,” she said, “Are you listening?” “Yes,” said Tiffany. “Good. Now...if you trust in yourself...” “Yes?” “...and believe in your dreams...” “Yes?” “...and follow your star...” Miss Tick went on. “Yes?” “...you’ll still be beaten by people who spent their time working hard and learning things and weren’t so lazy. Goodbye. ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#witches #work #dreams

And people think she killed him?" said Miss Tick. She sighed. "They probably think she cooked him in the oven, or something." "They never actually said," said Tiffany. "But I think it was something like that, yes." "And did his horse turn up?" said Miss Tick. "No," said Tiffany. "And that was strange, because if it'd turned up anywhere along the hills, people would have noticed it..." Miss Tick folded her hands, sniffed, and smiled a smile with no humor in it. "Easily explained," she said. "Mrs. Snapperly must have had a really big oven, eh?" "No, it was really quite small," said Tiffany. "Only ten inches deep. ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#witches #humor