#women

As women glide from their twenties to thirties, Shazzer argues, the balance of power subtly shifts. Even the most outrageous minxes lose their nerve, wrestling with the first twinges of existential angst: fears of dying alone and being found three weeks later half-eaten by an Alsatian. ↗

— Helen Fielding

#humour #power #thirties #twenties #women

Why can't these American women stay in their own country? They are always telling us that it is the paradise for women. It is. That is the reason why, like Eve, they are so excessively anxious to get out of it. ↗

— Oscar Wilde

#escape #eve #humor #paradise #sarcasm

Women speak because they wish to speak, whereas a man speaks only when driven to speak by something outside himself-like, for instance, he can't find any clean socks. ↗

— Jean Kerr

#conversation #gender #humor #language #men

Be the kind of woman who, when your feet hit the floor each morning, the devil says "Oh, no! She's up. ↗

— Joanne Clancy

#inspirational #life #women #funny

There's a reason why forty, fifty, and sixty don't look the way they used to, and it's not because of feminism, or better living through exercise. It's because of hair dye. In the 1950's only 7 percent of American women dyed their hair; today there are parts of Manhattan and Los Angeles where there are no gray-haired women at all. ↗

— Nora Ephron

#humor #women #humor

I do not scruple to employ mendacity and a fictitious appearance of female incompetence when the occasion demands it. ↗

— Elizabeth Peters

#humor #women #humor

I try to make my comments like a woman's skirt: long enough to be respectable and short enough to be interesting. ↗

— Adam Clayton Powell

#guide #how-to #humor #men #women

Girls say to me, very reasonably, 'why isn't it a bunch of girls? Why did you write this about a bunch of boys?' Well, my reply is I was once a little boy - I have been a brother, a father, I am going to be a grandfather. I have never been a sister, or a mother, or a grandmother. That's one answer. Another answer is of course to say that if you - as it were - scaled down human beings, scaled down society, if you land with a group of little boys, they are more ike a scaled-down version of society than a group of little girls would be. Don't ask me why, and this is a terrible thing to say because I'm going to be chased from hell to breakfast by all the women who talk about equality - this is nothing to do with equality at all. I think women are foolish to pretend they are equal to men, they are far superior and always have been. But one thing you can't do with them is take a bunch of them and boil them down, so to speak, into a set of little girls who would then become a kind of image of civilisation, of society. The other thing is - why aren't they little boys AND little girls? Well, if they'd been little boys and little girls, we being who we are, sex would have raised its lovely head, and I didn't want this to be about sex. Sex is too trivial a thing to get in with a story like this, which was about the problem of evil and the problem of how people are to live together in a society, not just as lovers or man and wife. ↗

— William Golding

#civilisation #equality #life-experience #lord-of-the-flies #men

Love is like a big juicy steak. You bite into it, enjoy it, then regret the calories you gained, when you're standin on your scale the next morning. See,I don't eat steak. I'm a vegetarian. ↗

— Euphoria Godsent

#cold-hearted #cold-hearted-people #diva #euphoria-godsent #heart-breaker

Liebe auf den ersten Blick existierte. Vielleicht nicht unbedingt zwischen Männern und Frauen. Aber definitiv zwischen Frauen und ganz bestimmten Klamotten. Ich sah es auf den ersten Blick – dieses Kleid und ich, wir waren füreinander geschaffen. ↗

— Emilia Polo

#funny-quotes #women #funny