#y

I wanna make a jigsaw puzzle that's 40,000 pieces. And when you finish it, it says 'go outside.' ↗

— Demetri Martin

#finish #go #i #jigsaw #jigsaw puzzle

I wrapped my Christmas presents early this year, but I used the wrong paper. See, the paper I used said 'Happy Birthday' on it. I didn't want to waste it so I just wrote 'Jesus' on it. ↗

— Demetri Martin

#christmas #early #happy #i #jesus

Most of us know perfectly well what we ought to do; our trouble is that we do not want to do it. ↗

— Peter Marshall

#most #ought #our #perfectly #trouble

My personal philosophy would be don't whine, don't let opportunities pass you by, be willing to work hard, and remember that you don't know as much as you think you do, ever. ↗

— James Marsters

#hard #know #much #opportunities #pass

Don't lower your expectations to meet your performance. Raise your level of performance to meet your expectations. Expect the best of yourself, and then do what is necessary to make it a reality. ↗

— Ralph Marston

#expect #expectations #level #lower #make

I've tried to lead a straight, clean life, not set any kind of a bad example. ↗

— Elvis Presley

#bad #bad example #clean #example #i

Realize what you really want. It stops you from chasing butterflies and puts you to work digging gold. ↗

— William Moulton Marston

#chasing #digging #gold #puts #realize

I love women, but I feel like you can't trust some of them. Some of them are liars, you know? Like I was in the park and I met this girl, she was cute and she had a dog. And I went up to her, we started talking. She told me her dog's name. Then I said, 'Does he bite?' She said, 'No.' And I said, 'Oh yeah? Then how does he eat?' Liar. ↗

— Demetri Martin

#cute #does #dog #eat #feel

Women's strong qualities have become despised because of their weakness. The obvious remedy is to create a feminine character with all the strength of Superman plus all the allure of a good and beautiful woman. ↗

— William Moulton Marston

#beautiful #beautiful woman #because #become #character

I like using animals because they help suspend my reader's disbelief. We have certain ideas about dentists. We don't have many ideas about rhinoceros dentists. ↗

— Yann Martel

#because #certain #disbelief #help #i