#y

I tore off another chuck of muffin and stared down at my chest. I shrugged and dabbed the muffin in the cum and popped it in my mouth. "I can't believe you just did that!" "Yeah," I snarled up my lip, "didn't quite think that one through all the way. ↗

— Ethan Day

#funny

What’s said in silence is best viewed in darkness. I learned that while reading a bowl of Alphabet Soup. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#reading #silence #funny

Milo refreshed Rae's drink and said, Talk to her. You need to get it off your chest." Then Milo turned to me and said, "Why don't you try a more subtle approach." "I demand you tell me your troubles," I said to my sister. "You're not as funny as you think you are," Rae replied. ↗

— Lisa Lutz

#lisa-lutz #funny

Propping the mirror against the wall near the door, he waved a hand at it and clipped, "Drustan: Cian MacKeltar. Cian: Drustan MacKeltar." "Dageus," Drustan's voice was soft as velvet, never a good sign, "why are you introducing me to a mirror? ↗

— Karen Marie Moning

#dageus #drustan #funny #highlander #karen-marie-moning

What early tongue so sweet saluteth me? ↗

— William Shakespeare

#to-remember #funny

That's worst than gonerreha, man! ↗

— Ned Vizzini

#funny

An arrogant laughs at repentance. ↗

— Toba Beta

#funny #repentance #funny

Does anyone know why Will left?" Charlotte demanded, standing at the head of a long table around which the rest of them were seated. Cecily, her hands folded demurely before her, suddenly became very interested in the pattern of the carpet. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#funny-moment #funny

Yeah, I got her,” Will confirms. “Who you got?” I ask. “You, drunk girl. Come on.” He turns to lead me toward the exit, and I start to follow him, but for some reason my feet don’t work very well. “Um, Will?” “Yeah?” “I lost my feet.” “What?” he laughs and pinches the bridge of his nose. “I can’t find my feet.” Why is everyone laughing at me? This is serious! ↗

— Kristen Proby

#funny-as-hell #funny

What kinda vows?" Celibacy? I thought, though I didn't say it. Nobody keeps a celibacy vow anyway. ↗

— Cassandra Rose Clarke

#funny #vows #funny