All old music was modern once, and much more of the music of yesterday already sounds more old-fashioned than works which were written three centuries ago. ↗
Yesterday Senator John Kerry changed his mind and now supports the ban on gay marriages. I'm telling you this guy has more positions than Paris Hilton. ↗
In West Virginia yesterday, a man was arrested for stealing several blow-up dolls. Reportedly, police didn't have any trouble catching the man because he was completely out of breath. ↗
Yesterday, the Pentagon warned U.S. reporters that they should get out of Baghdad as soon as possible because the U.S. could attack at any time. Then the Pentagon added, 'Whatever you do, don't tell Geraldo.' ↗
I'm a hypochondriac. Yesterday it was brain damage from the vodka the night before. Today, heart attack - my arm and chest started hurting at the same time. ↗