#fr

[F]rom my years of understanding ... I happily chose this kind of life in which I yet live [i.e., unmarried], which I assure you for my own part hath hitherto best contented myself and I trust hath been most acceptable to God. From the which if either ambition of high estate offered to me in marriage by the pleasure and appointment of my prince ... or if the eschewing of the danger of my enemies or the avoiding of the peril of death ... could have drawn or dissuaded me from this kind of life, I had not now remained in this estate wherein you see me. But so constant have I always continued in this determination ... yet is it most true that at this day I stand free from any other meaning that either I have had in times past or have at this present. ↗

— Elizabeth I Tudor

#choice #contentment #dignity #empowerment #freedom

Are you trying to weasel out of showing us any of this stuff?" said Zacharias Smith. "Here's an idea," said Ron loudly, "why don't you shut your mouth?" "Well, we've all turned up to learn from him, and now he's telling us he can't really do any of it," he said. "That's not what he said," said Fred Weasley. "Would you like us to clean out your ears for you?" inquired George, pulling a long and lethal-looking metal instrument from inside one of the Zonko's bags. "Or any part of your body, really, we're not fussy where we stick this," said Fred. ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#humor

Electricity is really just organized lighting ↗

— George Carlin

#electricity #freedom #humor #lightning #perspective

Amy, Dan, and Nellie were sitting at a table in a conference room, examining reproductions of Franklin documents-some so rare, the librarians told her, the only copies existed in Paris. "Yeah, here's a rare grocery list," Dan muttered. "Wow. ↗

— Rick Riordan

#cahill #humor #rare #sarcasm #humor

A whizzpopper!" cried the BFG, beaming at her. "Us giants is making whizzpoppers all the time! Whizzpopping is a sign of happiness. It is music in our ears! You surely is not telling me that a little whizzpopping if forbidden among human beans? ↗

— Roald Dahl

#children-s #farting #friendly #gas #giant

Everybody I know fails the acid test of friendship. ↗

— Bill Watterson

#friendship

Are you her boyfriend?” ... No, I’m her fiancé.” Nate said. We’ve been promised to each other since birth,” Summer added. Our wedding isn’t until March. ↗

— Brandon Mull

#boyfriends #humor #marriage #humor

Tohru: "Call a doctor, or a vet, or something! Mr. Postman! It's terrible! You see?! They're animals!" Mailman: "Well, uh, yes, they certainly are. Here's your mail." Tohru: "No, no, we've got to do something!" (Shigure in dog form grabs the letter.) Mailman: "I wish my dog was as smart. Good day! ↗

— Natsuki Takaya

#humor #manga #natsuki-takaya #tohru #tohru-honda

It was hidden inside another book. One Valentine was unlikely to ever open." Magnus smiled crookedly. "Simple Recipes for Housewives. No one can say your mother didn't have a sense of humor. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#magnus-bane #humor

Friends don't menace friends with giant terrifying swords, okay? ↗

— Sarah Rees Brennan

#humor #humor