#age

Modern wife: A position thought to require great ambition to fill. After initially showing some skill at a maid service or department store, the husband takes her home to find that she has risen too high in the world to generalize that skill, which drives him to drink. ↗

— Bauvard

#funny #humor #marriage #wife #funny

Inside your soul is the ability to survive even the toughest storms, and that paradise can always be found--even in the middle of a hurricane--if you are willing to look. ↗

— Denise Hildreth Jones

#humor #love-and-romance #remarriage #humor

Mr. Sand, do you think it's possible to fall in love in the space of a single day?" He smiled. "I wouldn't know. I only fall in love at night. Never lasts beyond breakfast, though. ↗

— Tessa Dare

#sarcastic-humor #humor

I can’t help but notice that you keep writing love poetry to my wife. Well, you see, I married her, which makes her my wife. You know what you might want to try? Writing some poems about the sunset. The sunset isn’t fucking married. ↗

— A.J. Jacobs

#marriage #poetry #humor

Latin is already a dead language, man... don't make it any deader. ↗

— Jerry Scott

#language #latin #zits #humor

In his old life, the answer would have been easy: He'd have just put a gun to Vin's head and dragged the fucker to the altar. Now? He needed to be a little more civilized. ↗

— J.R. Ward

#jim-heron #marriage #vin #humor

She was blissfully unaware of her peril. ↗

— Anne Taintor

#marriage #humor

In every possible instance Saint Paul begged Christians to restrain themselves to contain their carnal yearnings to live solitary and sexless lives on earth as it is in heaven. "But if they cannot contain " Paul finally conceded then "let them marry for it is better to marry than to burn." Which is perhaps the most begrudging endorsement of matrimony in human history. ↗

— Elizabeth Gilbert

#corinthians #humor #marriage #st-paul #humor

I keep telling you, nobody wants legs like a stick insect. They want a bottom they can park in a bike in and balance a pint of beer on. ↗

— Helen Fielding

#humor #humor

To God I speak Spanish, to women Italian, to men French, and to my horse - German. ↗

— Emperor Charles V

#humorous-quotes #languages #humor