#ah

Santa Claus has nothing to do with it," the latke said. "Christmas and Hanukah are completely different things." "But different things can often blend together," said the pine tree. "Let me tell you a funny story about pagan rituals. ↗

— Lemony Snicket

#customs #hanukkah #time #funny

Do you think the Bible is accurate? I mean, do you think it's real?" " I think Pastor Calvin is hot. In a fortysomething way. That pretty much sums up my religious conviction ↗

— Becca Fitzpatrick

#humor #vee #funny

I hate you," I muttered. Noah smiled wider. "I know. ↗

— Michelle Hodkin

#humor #mara-dyer #noah-shaw #ya #humor

It's a token for the arcade games at Laser Sport Time!" Dan hissed. "Uncle Alistair doesn't think so," Amy murmured. "He's a numismatist." "He takes his clothes off in public?" Dan said. ↗

— Peter Lerangis

#dan-cahill #humor #numismatist #humor

If he’ll let me. But he left the hospital without talking to me. I don’t know what that means.”Screw that. “Yes, of course I’ll see him again. Isaiah and I are friends and he’s going to realize that evenif I have to take a two-by-four to him. ↗

— Katie McGarry

#friendship #humor #isaiah #friendship

Where are the dogs?" I asked. "At training," he said. "I have a friend who's an expert dog trainer, and he's giving them some stealth lessons. He used to work for a local K-9 unit." I didn't think it was in the Chihuahua genetic code to ever be stealthy. ↗

— Richelle Mead

#humor #humor

Yoh: Being popular with guys isn't something you can just stitch together! Haruna: What?! I Can't?! Yoh: OF COURSE NOT! Yoh: Mixing coke, tea and orange juice would taste nasty, right?! That's exactly what you're doing! ↗

— Kazune Kawahara

#humor #kazune-kawahara #popularity #yoh #humor

Signý knew she would die a thousand deaths upon seeing another woman with him, bearing his children, raising them with him. All the while, Signý, caged in his dungeons, hearing all the painful details of his life with someone else, drowning in her own despair, her love for him turning to hatred. A more tragic life, she could not imagine. ↗

— Farrah Naseem

#despair #farrah-naseem #hatred #sacred #tragic

The Framers were no more interested in binding future Americans to a set of divinely inspired commandments than any of us would wish to be bound by them. ↗

— Dahlia Lithwick

#jurisprudence #slate #inspirational

Of course I know that the twins are only words on a page, and I'm certainly not the sort of writer who talks to his characters or harbours any illusions about the creative process. But at the same time, I think it's juvenile and arrogant when literary writers compulsively remind their readers that the characters aren't real. People know that already. The challenge is to make an intelligent reader suspend disbelief, to seduce them into the reality of a narrative. ↗

— Michel Faber

#realism #short-stories #intelligence