#aid

Nowadays they have 12 directors and 15 producers and 30 writers. And all the writers want their lines said a certain way-which isn't necessarily funny. I mean the lines aren't necessarily so funny to begin with. ↗

— Tim Conway

#certain #certain way #directors #funny #i

I have noticed that nothing I never said ever did me any harm. ↗

— Calvin Coolidge

#any #did #ever #harm #i

I have never made fun of religion. Religion is something I don't even want to mess with, because I am really afraid of the clouds opening up and my being struck by lightning. ↗

— Alice Cooper

#am #because #being #clouds #even

Anyone who says they're not afraid at the time of a hurricane is either a fool or a liar, or a little bit of both. ↗

— Anderson Cooper

#anyone #bit #both #either #fool

I was so flattered that someone wanted me to write a book, I said I would. It was published in 1969. ↗

— Jilly Cooper

#flattered #i #me #published #said

So he said 'I'm going to chop off the bottom of one of your trouser legs and put it in a library.' I thought 'That's a turn-up for the books.' ↗

— Tommy Cooper

#bottom #chop #going #i #legs

I went into a French restaraunt and asked the waiter, 'Have you got frog's legs?' He said, 'Yes,' so I said, 'Well hop into the kitchen and get me a cheese sandwich.' ↗

— Tommy Cooper

#cheese #french #frog #get #got

So I rang up a local building firm, I said 'I want a skip outside my house.' He said 'I'm not stopping you.' ↗

— Tommy Cooper

#firm #house #i #local #outside

I signed contracts I didn't think were a good idea but people around me said it was the way forward. It saddens me that I'll never own my first album ever, which sucks. ↗

— Julian Cope

#around #contracts #ever #first #forward

From the sea came a boat with some Israeli commando soldiers who took me by the commando boat to the yacht and put me on the yacht. In the yacht I asked people, who are you. And they said we are Israelis, French and British. ↗

— Mordechai Vanunu

#boat #british #came #french #i