#ak

Who knows himself a braggart, let him fear this, for it will come to pass that every braggart shall be found an ass. ↗

— William Shakespeare

#ass #braggart #bragging #humility #humor

Whatever happens, we have got The Maxim gun, and they have not. ↗

— Hilaire Belloc

#force #gun #humor #might_makes_right #technology

He punched me in the face," Ash said, who understandably did not seem to find the situation humorous at all. "And then he yelled at me for sleeping with our personal trainer!" "I was told breakup scenes were a good way to distract people," Jared said with beautiful simplicity. "Ash looked so surprised," Holly said. "He had no idea what was going on. He said, 'I didn't sleep with our personal trainer! We don't even have a personal trainer!'" Angela and Holly giggled. Ash held the back of his hand to his bleeding mouth and glared. Jared was still grinning like a maniac. "In that case," he told Ash solemnly, "I will consider taking you back. ↗

— Sarah Rees Brennan

#ash #break-ups #cousins #distractions #holly

In Wilson's scale of evaluations breakfast rated just after life itself and ahead of the chance of immortality. ↗

— Robert A. Heinlein

#humorous #humor

Meanwhile, back at reality..."- G.Lucas ↗

— Robert Lynn Asprin

#humor #humor

Ed felt faint. Milk shake, as it turned out, was much less handy in your veins then, say, oxygen. ↗

— Francine Pascal

#milkshakes #oxygen #veins #humor

The symbologist made a cryptic sign. "That remains to be seen, as the cat said who voided into the sugar bowl. ↗

— Jack Vance

#naked-lunch #what-lies-beneath #humor

Color in certain places has the great value of making the outlines and structural planes seem more energetic. ↗

— Antonio Gaudi

#certain #color #energetic #great #making

Love mattered, in the end. A house without love would always fall, maybe not today or tomorrow, but in the end without love nothing could endure. ↗

— Laurell K. Hamilton

#love #vampire-hunter #love

There's nothing happy about love at all!! I would rather have not known real love... if it hurts this much. ↗

— Chitose Yagami

#beat #chitose #fall #in-love #like