#ak

Well, it's taken a long time to get the Department of Homeland Security established. It's taken a long time for the Congress to decide how much it wanted to fund. ↗

— Warren Rudman

#decide #department #established #fund #get

I love to shop after a bad relationship. I don't know. I buy a new outfit and it makes me feel better. It just does. Sometimes I see a really great outfit, I'll break up with someone on purpose. ↗

— Rita Rudner

#after #bad #better #break #break up

Some people think having large breasts makes a woman stupid. Actually, it's quite the opposite: a woman having large breasts makes men stupid. ↗

— Rita Rudner

#breasts #having #large #makes #men

My husband gave me a necklace. It's fake. I requested fake. Maybe I'm paranoid, but in this day and age, I don't want something around my neck that's worth more than my head. ↗

— Rita Rudner

#around #day #fake #gave #head

I don't like when there's too much conversation because I'm shy and it makes me uncomfortable. ↗

— Rita Rudner

#conversation #i #like #makes #me

I don't want to push the envelope. Let the envelope stay in the middle of the table. I'll just make you laugh. ↗

— Rita Rudner

#i #just #laugh #make #middle

I know I want to have children while my parents are still young enough to take care of them. ↗

— Rita Rudner

#children #enough #i #know #parents

I started taking ballet lessons when I was 4, and I was performing in ballet companies when I was 10, and I did summer stock in Miami Beach when I was 12, and finally I said, 'I gotta go to Broadway.' ↗

— Rita Rudner

#beach #broadway #companies #did #finally

If I say a joke and the audience laughs it makes me feel good. ↗

— Rita Rudner

#feel #feel good #good #i #joke

My Vegas act is how I make my money. ↗

— Rita Rudner

#how #i #make #money #vegas