#al

There are 2,500 kinds of sponges, all of them consist largely of holes. ↗

— Will Cuppy

#humor #zoology #humor

I'm just like any other person you can meet and greet on the street and like or not like. I'm not Holden or Humbert. You can really touch me! If you don't believe me, come to Aristod right now. Come hold and hump me! ↗

— Brian Celio

#humbert #humor #salinger #wordplay #humor

We found the bathrooms, which were labeled 'Aliens' and 'Femaliens.' 'Finally,' I said to J.Lo. 'Here's a bathroom you're allowed to use. ↗

— Adam Rex

#humor #toilet #humor

Begin the fun, the fun's begun. One for all, and all for one. ↗

— Laura Chester

#inspirational #humor

Well, fame is a drug and when you take it away from an addict, things can get ugly. ↗

— Melissa Jo Peltier

#reality-tv #satire #television #humor

He peered down at me. “Jesus Christ. You’re leaking.” If by “leaking” he meant “sobbing like a girl,” I guess so. ↗

— Lili St. Crow

#humor #ya-paranormal #humor

A hero without faults is like an omelet without little bits of eggshell in it. ↗

— Colin Cotterill

#heroes #humor #personality #real-life #humor

Sophie was a walking truth serum. If she was touching bare skin, she could yank the truth out of you like a loose tooth. I’d spent several unpleasant hours in her company during the Council’s screening process for humans who planned to work with vampires. That’s when I learned that you don’t refer to Buffy, the Winchesters, or even the Frog Brothers from The Lost Boys in front of Council officials. They do not have a sense of humor about that sort of entertainment. ↗

— Molly Harper

#supernatural #the-lost-boys #humor

I'm probably something like 95% chicken nugget ↗

— Jeff Kinney

#humor #reality #truth #humor

Those with all the answers have not asked enough questions. ↗

— Belva Rae Staples

#humor-inspirational #humor