#ale

Basia coquum," Simon said. "Or whatever their motto is." "It's 'Descensus Averno facilis est.' 'The descent into hell is easy," said Alec. "You just said "Kiss the cook." "Dammit," said Simon. "I knew Jace was screwing with me. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#humor #simon-lewis #humor

She wakes in a puddle of sunlight. Her hands asleep beside her. Her hair draped on the lawn like a mantle of cloth. ↗

— Roman Payne

#love #nymph #ode #pastoral #pastorale

I have a suggestion," said Valentine to Luke, in a surprisingly even tone. "Let me guess," said Luke. "It's 'Don't kill me,' isn't it? ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#humor #luke #valentine #humor

I love who you are, yesterday, now, tomorrow, always. ↗

— Gena Showalter

#tales-of-an-extraordinary-girl #twice-as-hot #love

I have a beard of fog that I wear on misty mornings. It’s not cigarette smoke, but I’d understand if you wanted to shave it off and inhale it. 
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#cigarette #fog #funny #humor #inhale

I have to return some videotapes ↗

— Bret Easton Ellis

#bale #bret #christian #easton #ellis

My first words, as I was being born [...] I looked up at my mother and said, 'that's the last time I'm going up one of those. ↗

— Stephen Fry

#female-genitalia #homosexuality #humor #mothers #humor

Míralo. El rostro de un ángel malicioso y los ojos como el cielo nocturno en el Infierno. Es muy hermoso, y a los vampiros les gusta eso. Y no puedo decir que a mí me moleste. -Magnus sonrió de medio lado-. Cabello negro y ojos azules son mi combinación favorita. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#magnus-bane #tessa-gray #will-herondale #love

Being told when to shit, shower, shave, eat, and sleep isn't my idea of paradise. But then again, Paradise, where i grew up, wasn't paradise either. I'm wondering if paradise is just some word in the dictionary with the definition: this doesn't fucking exist. --Caleb to himself ↗

— Simone Elkeles

#humor

You do realise modern social mores exist for a reason?" "I was hungry, allowances should be made. ↗

— Gail Carriger

#humor #humor