#am

Big lots,' I said, seeing the eighty-year-old oaks and shady lawns. The houses were set way back and had iron fences and stone drives. The harder to hear your neighbors scream, my dear,' was David’s answer, and I sent my head up and down in agreement. ↗

— Kim Harrison

#humor #rachel-morgan #romance #supernatural #vampire

It was like the entire world was colluding to make me feel insane, and it was doing a really good job. ↗

— Maureen Johnson

#rory #the-name-of-the-star #humor

Cole - I just thought of a new game. Jaz - What's that? Cole - Splat the Specter. Jaz - Rules? Cole - You can help me make them up. Right now all I know for sure is that it involves water guns filled with grape Kool-Aid and two ferrets named Biff and Chlamydia. Vayl - Why Ferrets? Jaz - Really? You want to know about his choice of pets when he's named one of them after an STD? ↗

— Jennifer Rardin

#humor #jaz-parks #vampire #humor

Louis-Cesare slowly pulled himself into a half-standing position against the side of the winery.'What? Did you think one little mage was going to do me in?' He swallowed hard. 'Hell, that was just a warm-up. ↗

— Karen Chance

#damphir #dorina #fiction #humor #mage

If you can spell "Nietzsche" without Google, you deserve a cookie. ↗

— Lauren Leto

#grammar #humor #spelling #humor

People are sheep. TV is the shepherd. ↗

— Jess C. Scott

#entertainment #herd-mentality #humor #hype #mainstream-media

Before you go,mate,turn on the telly. Something raunchy too. Think I'll rub off one before I go to sleep ↗

— Jeaniene Frost

#ian #red-dragon #vampire #humor

Vortexy. "Is that even a word?" I ask myself "You're talking to yourself, so who the hell cares?" I reply ↗

— Gayle Forman

#humor #humor

Why do airline pilots always call passengers "folks"? I don't usually take umbrage at generic terminology--I'm one of those forward-thinkers who believes that "man" encompasses the whole darned race -- but at whatever 0'clock in the mornning. I thought it would be nice to be called sometihng that suggested unwashed masses a little less. ↗

— C.E. Murphy

#humor #urban-shaman #humor

And while we're on the subject of ducks, which we plainly are, the story, 'The Ugly Duckling' ought be banned as the central character wasn't a duckling or he wouldn't have grown up into a swan. He was a cygnet. ↗

— Russell Brand

#grammar-humor #humor