#ang

He grinned at me so unexpectedly I forgot to flap for a second and dropped several feet."You looove me," he crooned smugly holding his arms out wide, he added,"You love me this much. ↗

— James Patterson

#love

Well, while you were in the bathroom, I sat down at this picnic table here in Bumblefug, Kentucky, and noticed that someone had carved that GOD HATES FAG, which, aside from being a grammatical nightmare, is absolutely ridiculous. So I'm changing it to 'God Hates Baguettes.' It's tough to disagree with that. Everybody hates baguettes. ↗

— John Green

#homophobia #homosexuality #humor #picnic-tables #religion

Two hundred Romans, and no one’s got a pen? Never mind!" He slung his M16 onto his back and pulled out a hand grenade. There were many screaming Romans. Then the hand grenade morphed into a ballpoint pen, and Mars began to write. Frank looked at Percy with wide eyes. He mouthed: Can your sword do grenade form? Percy mouthed back, No. Shut up. ↗

— Rick Riordan

#frank-zhang #heroes-of-olympus #humor #mars #percy-jackson

His hands as he worked were deft and sure, but so gentle -- he was being careful not to hurt me any more than he had to. I sat very still, hardly daring to move. I was in love with him. The knowledge swept through me, truer than anything I'd ever known. Oh, my God, I was in love with him. ↗

— L.A. Weatherly

#love

Yes, boys are a little like shoes. Why? Well...They can be useful. But mainly...They are nice to look at. Getting the right one can be a lovely accessory to an outfit. There are times when you couldn't do without them. And there are times when you'd rather do without them. Get the wrong ones and they can hurt. There are many types and often the ones that look the nicest are completely unpractical. ↗

— Rachel Hill

#boys #chocolate #girls #humor #manga

I speak the language of love. That’s right, I speak Russian. 
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#language-of-love #love #russian #love

It is very useful, when one is young, to learn the difference between "literally" and "figuratively." If something happens literally, it actually happens; if something happens figuratively, it feels like it is happening. If you are literally jumping for joy, for instance, it means you are leaping in the air because you are very happy. If you are figuratively jumping for joy, it means you are so happy that you could jump for joy, but are saving your energy for other matters. ↗

— Lemony Snicket

#humor #language #humor

Listen.. to your motor-mouth mother..... Lovely Minato said ↗

— Masashi Kishimoto

#manga #minato #naruto #love

But...what if I mistime it?" Gilan smiled widely. "Well, in that case, I'll probably lop your head off your shoulders." Horace and Gilan ↗

— John Flanagan

#horace #humor #ranger-s-apprentice #sword-fighting #humor

The to Cathal was battered and only one wagon wide, with swells of hard earth where mud had frozen during cold ad rainy seasons. Enna tripped often, and cursed each time she tripped, until Dasha said, "Enna, you might watch your language." Enna grimaced. "I was. You should hear my thoughts. ↗

— Shannon Hale

#humor #humor