#ang

A brick could be used like a fleeglebeegle, which in turn could be used like a zoopkatofka, which itself could be used like a Wexlybexter Device (the one with the hand crank, not the one with the foot peddles). Gosh, I hope I clarified at least one thing for you.
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— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

I’m not trying to—What do teenagers say nowadays?” he asked my grandmother.“Get all up in her biznez,” Nana said.Without cracking a smile.“That’s right,” he replied. “We’re not trying to get all up in your biznez, Ali. ↗

— Gena Showalter

#grandparents #teenage-slang #funny

A brick could be used as a cuddle partner. Just glue some fur on it and voila! It’s as good as snuggling with any dead animal you find on the side of the highway. (Which is getting rarer to find in this depression where everyone’s going hungry.)
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— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

If looks could kill...well, Dick was already dead, so nothing would happen. But Gabriel was not laughing. "See Dick," Dick said, pointing at his chest. He then swept his hand dangerously close to mind. "Jane. Dick and Jane. Come on, you humorless jackass. That's funny. ↗

— Molly Harper

#funny #gabriel #humor #jane-jameson #molly-harper

A blanket could be used to sell two-legged tables to one-legged men. This very same blanket could also teach them some Latin—specifically the phrase “Caveat Emptor.”
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— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

A brick could be thrown, like a football, only instead of a wide receiver, I’d recommend sending out a politician to catch your pass.
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— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

My grandma Ruthie, Jettie's sister, had been married four times, so many times I started calling every old man I saw at the grocery store Grandpa. ↗

— Molly Harper

#grandpa #jane-jameson #molly-harper #nice-girls-don-t-have-fangs #remarried

You are the night." "I am the night," I repeated. "You are the night." I cocked my head, sending him a questioning look. "I am the night?" "Jane!" "Why is it that when you say my name, it sounds like a curse word? ↗

— Molly Harper

#gabriel #jane-jameson #molly-harper #nice-girls-don-t-have-fangs #funny

A blanket really makes the bed. Good thing too, because I never make the bed.
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— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket #funny #humor #random #strange

A brick could be used as the perfect response in one particular situation. Next time someone says, “I love you,” say nothing. Just grab a brick, cradle it with both hands like a kitten, and hold it out to the other person. Whether you want the other person to leave, or whether you want them to stay, the response works flawlessly every time.
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— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket #funny #humor #random #strange