#ann

I sat on the bed. Neither of us said anything. I wasn't slick and sophisticated enough for this. What do you say to boyfriend A when he finds you naked in the bed of boyfriend B? Especially if boyfriend A turned into a monster the night before and ate someone. I bet Miss Manners didn't cover this at all. ↗

— Laurell K. Hamilton

#funny #miss-manners #polyamory #sex #funny

Hey, princess of Popsicles! Queen of curlicue cones. ↗

— Wendy Higgins

#funny #jay #sweet-evil #funny

This means that I don't have to run faster than the psychotic-maniac-vampire-cannibal, I just have to run faster than whoever is with me when the psychotic-maniac-vampire-cannibal starts chasing us. ↗

— Jim Benton

#funny #maniac #psycho #running #vampire

My mother was an angel," I blurted. "A guardian angel." Kaidan began to chuckle. "What's so funny?" I asked. "You. You're a walking contradiction. Horns and a halo. I don't belive it. ↗

— Wendy Higgins

#kaidan-and-anna #funny

I'm courteous to most, but antisocial among polite society. ↗

— Benson Bruno

#humor #manners #funny

Funny how a little sleep, a little makeup, and a lot of contemplating can make you feel like a different person - a stronger version of yourself. ↗

— Anna Banks

#of-poseidon #quote #funny

Poetry destroyed? Genius banished? No! Mediocrity, no: do not let envy prompt you to the thought. No; they not only live, but reign, and redeem: and without their divine influence spread everywhere, you would be in hell--the hell of your own meanness. ↗

— Charlotte Brontë

#genius #meanness #mediocrity #poetry #funny

There ain't no "baby mama drama" up in this Vortex, homie! ↗

— Esther Hicks

#channeling-woo #funny #funny

Now I know this is going to seem counter to every instinct that you have, but I'm going to ask you to sit still, or I'll put you in the trunk. ↗

— Anna White

#funny #humour #jack #jack-to-samara #samara

I'm a librarian in town,' she began. 'You sure about that?' The words popped out before he could stop them. Annabelle raised her eyebrows. 'Fairly. It's my job and so far no one has told me to go away when I show up for work.' smooth, Stryker, he thought, very smooth. 'I was expecting someone wearing glasses. You know. Because librarians read a lot.' The raised eyebrows turned into a frown. 'You need to get out of the barn more. ↗

— Susan Mallery

#awkward-encounters #foot-in-mouth #funny #librarians #shane