#arc

It was stealing her breath, imbecile. Go get a towel." -Christophe, Strange Angels by Lili St. Crow ↗

— Lilith Saintcrow

#sarcasm #humor

Come on," Alec said, already stomping down the ramp. "Let's find us a squirrel." He swept the weapon back and forth as he walked, looking for any interlopers. "Or better yet, one of the crazies who might've strayed over here. Too bad these things have to be charged or we could get rid of this virus problem in a jiffy. Sweep these old neighborhoods nice and clean." Mark joined him on the ground below the Berg, wary that someone might be watching from the ruined homes surrounding them or from the burnt woods beyond those. "Your value of human life brings tears to my eyes," he muttered. ↗

— James Dashner

#humor

I'm fully aware that some of the stuff I write is going to offend people or p*ss them off. They should be fully aware that I don't really care. ↗

— Briana Blair

#humor #sarcasm #humor

When all else fails...try smoking a good cigar and have a stiff drink. If that doesn't work...have another. ↗

— Timothy Pina

#jack #sarcasm #humor

Rupert: "... At this rate, somebody is bound to upset the Warlock once too often, and we'll end up with a Court full of bemused looking toads." "He wouldn't dare use his magic here," said the Champion. "Don't bet on it," said Rupert. "The High Warlock has all the practicality and self-preservation instincts of a depressed lemming. ↗

— Simon R. Green

#sarcastic-humor #humor

As if I'd had time to drug it in the two milliseconds she'd let me out of her sight. ↗

— Nenia Campbell

#humor #sarcasm #survival #humor

It's written, 'seek and ye shall find'. But first, 'imagine what you seek'. Otherwise, you will end up searching everything everywhere forever. ↗

— Toba Beta

#imagine #inspirational #life #search #seek

Do…you…have…a…hard…time…finding…Steve’s dick?” she enunciated, enjoying Mary’s extreme discomfort. “He’s big as a fuckin’ house so I imagine it might be a bit of a problem.” The New Jersey accent that was still there after more than fifteen years in the south, resurfaced in her aggravation. ↗

— A.T. Hicks

#humor #sarcasm #satire #imagination

I sometimes try to imagine what would have happened if we’d known the bonobo first and the chimpanzee only later—or not at all. The discussion about human evolution might not revolve as much around violence, warfare and male dominance, but rather around sexuality, empathy, caring and cooperation. What a different intellectual landscape we would occupy! ↗

— Frans de Waal

#cooperation #empathy #evolution #frans-de-waal #male-dominance

These illustrations suggest four general maxims[...]. The first is: remember that your motives are not always as altruistic as they seem to yourself. The second is: don't over-estimate your own merits. The third is: don't expect others to take as much interest in you as you do yourself. And the fourth is: don't imagine that most people give enough thought to you to have any special desire to persecute you. ↗

— Bertrand Russell

#narcissism #paranoia #self-centeredness #imagination