#are

I've got the Mark of Cain," said Simon. "That means nothing can kill me, right?" "You can kill yourself," Magnus said, somewhat unhelpfully. "As far as I know, inanimate objects can accidentally kill you. So if you were planning on teaching yourself the lambada on a greased platform over a pit full of knives, I wouldn't." "There goes my Saturday. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#city-of-lost-souls #funny #humor #lambada #magnus-bane

The next time you're planning to injure yourself to get my attention, just remeber that a little sweet talk works wonders." - City of Bones (said by Jace Wayland) ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#city-of-bones #entertainment #funny #humor #jace-wayland

If you're texting Magnus to say 'I think u r kewl' I'm going to kill you ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#city-of-ashes #funny #isabelle #funny

That's your truck parked up by the factory isn't it?" Magnus pointed. "It's awfully butch for a bookseller. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#city-of-ashes #funny #magnus-bane #funny

Don’t try to hog loneliness and keep it all to yourself. Share it with a special someone.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#alone #bizarre #funny #hog #humor

I want to merge a Phoenix with a Camel to create the world's first everlasting cigarette. It'll be a cigarette that rises from its own ashes, so you can keep smoking it indefinitely. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#cigarette #everlasting #funny #humor #immortality

Wait a second," Clary said. "I never understand why people say that," Luke said, to no one in particular. "I wasn't going anywhere. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#city-of-bones #clary-fray #funny #luke-garroway #the-mortal-instruments

We want to obviously foster a relationship that we're a partner with states; that we all share the same goals of closing the achievement gap, just as the Congress does; and that we're practical and sophisticated enough to understand what they're talking about. ↗

— Margaret Spellings

#achievement #closing #congress #does #enough

I'm taller than my father, and taller than two of the stones at Ban Drochaid." "I meant in feet," she clarified. Speaking of the mundane gave her a measure of calm. He eyed his boots a moment and appeared to be doing some rapid calculations. ↗

— Karen Marie Moning

#funny #gwen #height #karen-marie-moning #kiss-of-the-highlander

Are you decent?" a woman's voice called, pushing the door cautiously ajar. "Nay, but we're clothed," Cian purred. ↗

— Karen Marie Moning

#funny #highlander #karen-marie-moning #spell-of-the-highlander #funny