#ask

When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, 'Did you sleep good?' I said 'No, I made a few mistakes.' ↗

— Steven Wright

#asked #did #few #girlfriend #good

Do you think that when they asked George Washington for ID that he just whipped out a quarter? ↗

— Steven Wright

#george #george washington #id #just #out

The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing. ↗

— Steven Wright

#claus #got #missing #moved #now

My friend has a baby. I'm recording all the noises he makes so later I can ask him what he meant. ↗

— Steven Wright

#baby #friend #him #i #i can

I went to the bank and asked to borrow a cup of money. They said, "What for?" I said, "I'm going to buy some sugar." ↗

— Steven Wright

#bank #borrow #buy #cup #going

When I was a kid, I went to the store and asked the guy, Do you have any toy train schedules? ↗

— Steven Wright

#asked #guy #i #kid #schedules

When I was crossing the border into Canada, they asked if I had any firearms with me. I said, "Well, what do you need?" ↗

— Steven Wright

#asked #border #canada #crossing #firearms

Why stick your neck out if you don't have to? If you're right nobody will remember and if you're wrong people will ask a lot of questions. ↗

— David Wu

#lot #neck #nobody #out #people

The task of physiological psychology remains the same in the analysis of ideas that it was in the investigation of sensations: to act as mediator between the neighbouring sciences of physiology and psychology. ↗

— Wilhelm Wundt

#analysis #between #ideas #investigation #mediator

I think we have to ask this administration, and the President specifically, about using their political capital now to stand up for the American consumer who is getting clobbered by these gasoline and oil prices. ↗

— Ron Wyden

#administration #american #american consumer #ask #capital