#ass

Perhaps not," said Will, who had ears like a bat's. "But I would make a radiant bride. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#humor #sass #will #william-herondale #humor

My name's Jean Tannen, and I'm the ambush. ↗

— Scott Lynch

#fantasy #humor #humor

When good Americans die, they go to Paris,' the ghost said, after taking a drag on a small cigarette. But you’re not dead. I suppose the question must be, are you good? ↗

— Karen Chance

#cassandra #fiction #humor #supernatural #humor

Lassiter hit pause and clamped a hard hand on his shoulder."Sit the fuck back. Watch and learn." "What? How much I hate rom-coms? How 'bout we just stipulate that and let me go." "You're going to need this." " For my second career as a pussy? ↗

— J.R. Ward

#lassiter #tohr #humor

Tohr jacked forward his in his seat. "What the hell!" As Lassiter's big body cut through the projection onto the screen, a gigantic pair of flapping breasts covered his face and chest. "Adventures in the Milfy Way. A true classic." "It's porn!" "Duh--" "Okay, I am not sitting through this with you" The angel, still standing up. shrugged. "Just wanted to make sure you know what you're missing. ↗

— J.R. Ward

#lassiter #tohr #humor

I am in love with you', I responded. He laughed the most beguiling and gentle laugh. 'Of course you are,' he replied. 'I understand perfectly because I'm in love with myself. The fact that I'm not transfixed in front of the nearest mirror takes a great deal of self-control.' It was my turn to laugh. ↗

— Anne Rice

#narcissism #passion #humor

Tohr took a pull of his beer. “What the hell is this?” “When Harry Met Sally.” Tohr lowered the longneck from his mouth. “What?” “Shut it. After this, we’re going to watch an episode of Moonlighting. Then An Affair to Remember—the old-school one, not that stupidity with Warren Beatty. Then The Princess Bride—” Tohr hit the switch by his hip and straightened the chair up. “Okay. Right. Have fun with this— ↗

— J.R. Ward

#humor #lassiter #tohrment #humor

People are sheep. TV is the shepherd. ↗

— Jess C. Scott

#entertainment #herd-mentality #humor #hype #mainstream-media

Waitress: "And to drink?" Artemis: "Spring water. Irish, if you have it. And no ice, please. As your ice is no doubt made from tap water, which rather defeats the purpose of spring water. ↗

— Eoin Colfer

#humor

When we talk to our fellow men and they tell us about their troubles, we will listen to them carefully if we have love for them. We will have compassion for their suffering and pain, for we are God's creatures; we are a manifestation of the love of God. ↗

— Elder Thaddeus of Vitovnica

#compassion #council #eastern-orthodoxy #god-s-love #love