#at

He flipped himself onto his side and kissed me. "You're so hot," I said, my hand still on his leg. "I'm starting to think you have an amputee fetish," he answered, still kissing me. I laughed. "I have an Augustus Waters fetish," I explained. ↗

— John Green

#funny #hazel-grace-lancaster #funny

He raised his hand in a peaceful gesture. "You need to relax a bit, dove. Like Mouse over there. You trust me, don't you, Mouse?" "Nope!" "Ahhh, I'm hurt. Nobody likes me. ↗

— Ilona Andrews

#funny #julie #kate #kate-daniels #magic-burns

I'm telling you this because I want you to know that I know something about you isn't right. You haven't fooled everybody. I'm going to find out what you're up to. I'm going to expose you." "Looking forward to it. ↗

— Becca Fitzpatrick

#expose #funny #hush-hush #nora-and-patch #nora-grey

There comes a time in your life when you have to choose to turn the page, write another book or simply close it. ↗

— Shannon L. Alder

#books #boyfriend #choices #faith #family

I want to make pants out of tuna fish, to accompany my cottage cheese thighs. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#fat #funny #pants #tuna-fish #funny

Cordelia!" She staggered to a stop and slowly turned as her father's voice reverberated around the room. "You just accused your brothers of trying to commit murder." "No, Father. From this day forward, Cameron is the only brother I have. If you allow these two to remain in your home after what I have just told you, then I also have no father." "You're as high-spirited and stubborn as your mother. I warned Leigh that he needed to keep a tight rein on you, but he wouldn't listen." "Dallas isn't one to follow in other men's footsteps. Giving him permission to marry me was the finest gift you could have ever given me. ↗

— Lorraine Heath

#lorraine-heath #texas-glory #home

The American boy starts swinging the bat about as soon as he can lift one. ↗

— Tris Speaker

#american #bat #boy #lift #soon

I don't have a car." His eyes sliced into mine. "I walked here," I explained. "I'm on foot." "Angel," he said in a way that sounded like he sincerely hoped I was joking. ↗

— Becca Fitzpatrick

#funny #hush-hush #nora-and-patch #patch-cipriano #silence

Flatterers should be mistrusted, especially when they praise the dead. To seek a place in society is self-serving, but to seek one in history affects everyone. ↗

— Bauvard

#funny #humor #funny

Eve talking to someone on her computer and having trouble with the language translator. ...."I have two like crimes. Your data and your input on Leclerk would be very helpful" Marie pursed her lips and humor danced in her eyes. "It says you would like to have sex with me. I don't think that is correct" "Oh, for Christ sake" Eve slammed a fist against the machine..... ↗

— J.D. Robb

#death