#ay

We have just witnessed a classic example of what I like to call 'misdirected rage'. I believe the technical term is being an ass. ↗

— Natsuki Takaya

#humor #manga #natsuki-takaya #shigure #humor

Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest. ↗

— Larry Lorenzoni

#statistics-humor #humor

Come on guys, you cant fight like this forever" "Actually," Simon said, raising his hand,"I can". Jace made a weird noise and I realized he was trying not to laugh-which by the way, wasn't working. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#jace-wayland #mortal-instruments #simon-lewis #humor

My mother would say, 'Why are you always playing alone?' And I would say, 'I'm not playin', Ma. I'm fuckin' serious! ↗

— George Carlin

#humor #playing #humor

When did my house turn into a hangout for every grossly overpaid, terminally pampered professional football player in northern Illinois?" "We like it here," Jason said. "It reminds us of home." "Plus, no women around." Leandro Collins, the Bears' first-string tight end emerged from the office munching on a bag of chips. "There's times when you need a rest from the ladies." Annabelle shot out her arm and smacked him in the side of the head. "Don't forget who you're talking to." Leandro had a short fuse, and he'd been known to take out a ref here and there when he didn't like a call, but the tight end merely rubbed the side of his head and grimaced. "Just like my mama." "Mine, too," Tremaine said with happy nod. Annabelle spun on Heath. "Their mother! I'm thirty-one years old, and I remind them of their mothers." "You act like my mother," Sean pointed out, unwisely as it transpired, because he got a swat in the head next. ↗

— Susan Elizabeth Phillips

#humor #mother #humor

YOU are the big drop of dew under the lotus leaf, I am the smaller one on its upper side,' said the dewdrop to the lake. ↗

— Rabindranath Tagore

#humour #inspirational #philosophy #stray-birds #humor

You know how to pray, don’t you? Just put your hands together and hope. ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#humor

Very well,” Beatrix said reluctantly. “But I warn you, they may be resistant to the match.” “I’m resistant to the match,” Christopher informed her. “At least we’ll have that in common. ↗

— Lisa Kleypas

#humor #proposal #humor

It was Will who broke the silence. “Very well. You have me alone in the corridor—” “Yes, yes,” said Tessa impatiently, “and thousands of women all over England would pay handsomely for the privilege of such an opportunity. Can we put aside the display of your wit for a moment? This is important. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#tessa-gray #will-herondale #humor

What’s your name, then? ”Tessa looked at him in disbelief. “What’s my name?” “Don’t you know it? ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#tessa-gray #will-herondale #humor