#ay

Don't forget Mother's Day. Or as they call it in Beverly Hills, Dad's Third Wife Day. ↗

— Jay Leno

#beverly #beverly hills #call #dad #day

A simple grateful thought turned heavenwards is the most perfect prayer. ↗

— Doris Lessing

#most #perfect #prayer #simple #thought

I think high self-esteem is overrated. A little low self-esteem is actually quite good. Maybe you're not the best, so you should work a little harder. ↗

— Jay Leno

#best #good #harder #high #i

The University of Nebraska says that elderly people that drink beer or wine at least four times a week have the highest bone density. They need it - they're the ones falling down the most. ↗

— Jay Leno

#bone #density #down #drink #elderly

Today, one year after their divorce, Pamela and Tommy Lee announced they're getting back together. You know what that means? There's still hope for Ike and Tina Turner. ↗

— Jay Leno

#announced #back #divorce #getting #hope

Major league baseball has asked its players to stop tossing baseballs into the stands during games, because they say fans fight over them and they get hurt. In fact, the Florida Marlins said that's why they never hit any home runs. It's a safety issue. ↗

— Jay Leno

#asked #baseball #because #during #fact

Magic Johnson, former basketball player, may run for mayor of L.A. in the next election. Remember the good 'ol days when only qualified people ran for office like actors and professional wrestlers. ↗

— Jay Leno

#basketball #basketball player #days #election #former

My stockbroker asked me something important today: paper or plastic? ↗

— Jay Leno

#important #me #paper #plastic #something

Now, today is the day we honor, of course, the Presidents, ranging from George Washington, who couldn't tell a lie, to George Bush, who couldn't tell the truth, to Bill Clinton, who couldn't tell the difference. ↗

— Jay Leno

#bill clinton #bush #clinton #course #day

The best way to ruin a comedy is to throw a lot of money at it. ↗

— Jay Leno

#best way #comedy #lot #money #ruin