#be

There is not one female comic who was beautiful as a little girl. ↗

— Joan Rivers

#comic #female #girl #little #little girl

Comediennes are the lucky ones, because if you're funny, you can be 125 years old and they will still accept you. ↗

— Joan Rivers

#because #funny #lucky #lucky ones #old

Elizabeth Taylor has more chins than the Chinese telephone directory. ↗

— Joan Rivers

#chins #directory #elizabeth #elizabeth taylor #more

I could be the Greta Garbo of comedy, very secluded, but Garbo had a man who was beyond rich to support her. ↗

— Joan Rivers

#comedy #could #garbo #had #her

I have a wonderful psychiatrist that I see maybe once a year, because I don't need it. It all comes out onstage. ↗

— Joan Rivers

#comes #i #i see #maybe #need

I lived to be on stage, and I'm terrified. Terrified before every show. ↗

— Joan Rivers

#every #i #lived #show #stage

I'm in nobody's circle, I've always been an outsider. ↗

— Joan Rivers

#been #circle #i #nobody #outsider

I'm Jewish. I don't work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor. ↗

— Joan Rivers

#diamonds #floor #god #had #i

My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on. ↗

— Joan Rivers

#birth #birth control #control #just #leave

Thank God we're living in a country where the sky's the limit, the stores are open late and you can shop in bed thanks to television. ↗

— Joan Rivers

#bed #country #god #late #limit