#bizarre

A brick and a blanket could be used to replace the words yes and no. But which is witch? You’ll have to burn me at the stake before I tell you anything. 
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

A brick could be used as toilet paper—especially if you just shit a brick. You could shit and wipe your way to a wall of privacy.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

If you come by my place, you might see a wheelbarrow full of broken bricks. I broke them with my fist. I was practicing for your face.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

A brick could be used to keep warm, and a blanket could be used to build a house.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

I’m older than myself. At least I will be, once my clone gets here.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#age #bizarre #clones #funny #humor

It’s impossible for me to applaud your successes when my hands are too busy patting myself on the back. But if I clap for you, and you pat my back, we can both feel like winners.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#bizarre #funny #humor #random #random-thought

A brick could be used to destroy your mannequin lover. It’s the only proper thing to do. Remember, I was the one who warned you about dating a politician.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

I’m surprised there isn’t a jet airplane designed in the shape of a brick. Some people (aeronautical engineers) might say that’s because bricks aren’t aerodynamic. Yeah, right. I’d like to see someone make that claim as they watch a brick flying towards their face at a high velocity. 
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket #funny #humor #random #strange

Two bricks, parallel and horizontal, equals an equal sign.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

A brick could be divided into four equal pieces and split among three friends. I’ll take the two largest pieces, or half, whichever makes me appear the most generous.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket #funny #humor #random #sharing