#blanket

A hotel is more than bricks and blankets. A hotel is a welcoming atmosphere, and a place to engage in a business transaction with a prostitute. 
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— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #hospitality #prostitution

Sex with me has been described by more than one person as “Like making love to a brick.” Of course, you’re probably skeptical, because all men boast—exaggerate—about their sexual prowess. Rest assured, if that’s not the truth, it’s only because it’s an overstatement. A brick actually moves around more than I do.
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— Dark Jar Tin Zoo

#brick-and-blanket-uses #funny #humor #love #sex

A brick could be used to locate the precise coordinates of the Masons. Just follow the bricks—and follow the money. 
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— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

Wanted: a needle swift enough to sew this poem into a blanket. ↗

— Charles Simic

#blanket #enough #into #needle #poem

A blanket could be used as a bathtub tarp, keeping all the body’s heat in, and the police’s and murder victim’s wife’s eyes out.
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— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

A brick is a fraction of a building, and a brick is like a building—if you're like an ant.
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— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

A brick could be used to block out the pain, if you use it to first inflict pain and carry it through to coma. 
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— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

A blanket could be used to reveal hidden mysteries. Quick, get naked and get under, and I will illuminate the night.
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— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

A brick could be used as a response when the cops ask you if you murdered your mother-in-law. Forget yes or no. Well, forget yes altogether, but use brick for every response except one: What object did you use to carry out the killing?
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— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

A brick could be placed down on the first step on the path to enlightenment. 
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— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny