#butcher

After I won the Oscar, my salary doubled, my friends tripled, my children became more popular at school, my butcher made a pass at me, and my maid hit me up for a raise. ↗

— Shirley Jones

#after #became #butcher #children #doubled

If we know anything about man, it's that he's not pacific. The temptation to butcher anyone considered undesirable seems to be a common temptation, not always resisted. ↗

— Larry McMurtry

#always #anyone #anything #butcher #common

The butcher died, and he requested to be cremated. But I don’t want to burn him, because I like my meat medium rare.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#cannibalism #cook #cooking #cremated #death

In this life, no matter what anyone promises you, what allegiances of love or fealty they swear or what gods they pray to, you will never have more than what you have at this moment. ↗

— Richard Kadrey

#count-non #life

Like “love,” “hope” is one of those ridiculously disproportional words that by all rights should be a lot longer. ↗

— Jim Butcher

#quote #love

Let me tell you a little story. You may have heard it before. It's a story about a butcher named Barry. Once upon a time, in central city, there was a butcher named Barry. Barry loved to chop up meat more than anything in the world. But one day, when Barry got tired of just chopping up cows and pigs... ...He found something NEW to chop up-- PEOPLE. And so, he went out night after night in search of fresh meat. Eventually, Barry was caught, but not before he had slaughtered 23 victims!!! For terrorizing the poor people of central city, Barry was sent straight to the gallows...And everyone else lived happily ever after! ↗

— Hiromu Arakawa

#barry-the-chopper #ed #edward-elric #fullmetal-alchemist #hiromu-arakawa

Wait. You don't understand. I just wanted it to stop. Wanted the hurting to stop." I smoothed a bloodied lock of hair from her eyes and felt very tired as I said, "The only people who never hurt are dead." The light died out of her eyes, her breath slowing. She whispered, barely audible, "I don't understand." I answered, "I don't either." A tear slid from her eye and mixed with the blood. Then she died. ↗

— Jim Butcher

#jim-butcher #summer-knight #harry-dresden

He's Gandalf on crack and an IV of Red Bull, with a big leather coat and a .44 revolver in his pocket. ↗

— Jim Butcher

#backup #butcher #crack #dresden #gandalf

Only the stupidest calves choose their own butcher. ↗

— Konrad Adenauer

#calves #choose #only #own #stupidest

Asking a critic to name his favorite book is like asking a butcher to name his favorite pig. ↗

— John McCarthy

#book #butcher #critic #favorite #his