#cake

I was coming down off the last painkiller left in my dresser drawer after Autumn tossed my stash. In that moment I was so groggy and happy I would have accepted a date with Oscar the Grouch - and planned to do some serious feeling up on the green furry beast too. Yeah, stooping to pharmaceutical-inspired sex fantasies about garbage can Sesame Street characters - that had to be the best Just Say No drug lecture a girl in a leg cast could ever receive to make her go cold turkey off the meds. ↗

— Rachel Cohn

#cyd-charisse #drugs #gingerbread #high #humour

We have always said that advertising is just the icing on the cake. It is not the cake. ↗

— Meg Whitman

#always #cake #icing #just #said

Some people think destiny is something you cannot escape, such as death or a curdled cheesecake, both of which always turn up sooner or later. ↗

— Lemony Snicket

#death #destiny #fate #death

Azel was an aficionado in killing and in chocolate cake. ↗

— E.J. Koh

#chocolate #death #fantasy #killing #scifi

Delia was an overbearing cake with condescending frosting, and frankly, I was on a diet. ↗

— Maggie Stiefvater

#diet #frosting #humor #metaphor #diet

A sharp bolt of hunger hit Luther hard. His knees almost buckled, his poker face almost grimaced. For two weeks now his sense of smell had been much keener, no doubt a side effect of a strict diet. Maybe he got a whiff of Mabel's finest, he wasn't sure, but a craving came over him. Suddenly, he had to have something to eat. Suddenly, he wanted to snatch the bag from Kendall, rip open a package, and start gnawing on a fruitcake. ↗

— John Grisham

#fruitcake #humor #humour #skipping-christmas #diet

Mom asked for a cupcake miracle? Well, here comes the freaking holy angel of icing, at your service. --Hudson Angel icing? That's the craziest, corniest, most whack-ass stuff I've heard in my life ↗

— Sarah Ockler

#friendship #ice #friendship

Love is a bicycle with two pancakes for wheels. You may see love as more of an exercise in hard work, but I see it as more of a breakfast on the go. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#bicycle #breakfast #exercise #funny #humor

Just to show my dad that I think he's number one, I bought him a urinal cake for his birthday. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#dad #funny #humor #number-one #urinal-cake

That's it, cupcake. You're going down. ↗

— Rick Riordan

#humor #trash-talk #humor