#car

Dont ruin my balls!" She laughs as the words leave her mouth. Better yours than mine, chica." I toss the dough balls at her, one by one, until I've got none left. ↗

— Simone Elkeles

#humor #kiara #humor

It is perfectly monstrous,' he said, at last, 'the way people go about nowadays saying things against one behind one's back that are absolutely and entirely true. ↗

— Oscar Wilde

#humor #oscar-wilde #truth #humor

A study in scarlet, eh? Why shouldn't we use a little art jargon? There's the scarlet thread of murder running through the colourless skein of life, and our duty is to unravel it, and isolate it, and expose every inch of it. ↗

— Arthur Conan Doyle

#colour #exposure #isolation #jargon #life

I totally carpe-d the snot out of this diem! ↗

— Jerry Scott

#humor #latin #zits #humor

I have a friend who got into a car accident and now has a prosthetic metal leg, metal pins in his hips, and a metal plate in his head. One time I told him that he was like a human Swiss Army knife, to which he replied, “I’m Belgian. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#car-accident #funny #humor #random #swiss

Usually a family is led through the mom or the dad and their career and for the family to be led by my career, even though God has led it, could be a lot of pressure. ↗

— Stacie Orrico

#could #dad #even #family #god

The whole point of a sacrifice is that you give up something you never really wanted in the first place. People are doing it around you all the time. They give up their careers, say - or their beliefs - or sex. ↗

— John Osborne

#beliefs #careers #doing #first #give

Money is just the poor man's credit card. ↗

— Marshall McLuhan

#credit #credit card #just #man #money

There's nothing more aggravating in the world than the midnight sniffling of the person you've decided to hate. ↗

— Shannon Hale

#humor #truth #humor

I found that things weren't going well upstairs. Carter was a crumpled heap of chicken warrior on the slope of the pyramid. ↗

— Rick Riordan

#humor #sadie #humor