#cats

Aubrey, crouching on a nearby counter, watched me with squinty eyes, apparently pondering why anyone would willingly immerse themselves in water ever, let alone for extended periods of time. ↗

— Richelle Mead

#fiction #georgina #romance #succubus #vampire

Name the different kinds of people,’ said Miss Lupescu. ‘Now.’ Bod thought for a moment. ‘The living,’ he said. ‘Er. The dead.’ He stopped. Then, ‘... Cats?’ he offered, uncertainly. ↗

— Neil Gaiman

#humor #humor

She smiled again. "Do you like cat?" she said. "Yes," said Richard. "I quite like cats." Anaesthesia looked relieved. "Thigh?" she asked, "or breast? ↗

— Neil Gaiman

#humor #humor

My name is Skippito Friskito. (clap-clap) I fear not a single bandito. (clap-clap) My manners are mellow, I'm sweet like the Jell-o, I get the job done, yes indeed-o. (clap-clap) ↗

— Judy Schachner

#humor #mexican #siamese-cats #skippyjon-jones #humor

Arise from sleep, old cat, And with great yawns and stretchings... Amble out for love ↗

— Kobayashi Issa

#love #sleepiness #love

Look, we need to make time, but we also need to be somewhat quiet." She faced him. "I am being quiet!" Pathik held a finger up to his lips. "Seriously. Quite. You don't really want to attract a lot of attention out here if you can help it." Rachel didn't like the sound of that. "Are there sheep-cats? ↗

— Teri Hall

#humor #line #sheep #teri-hall #humor

Then stop being a know-it-all lionpaw retorted You're not my mentor so stay out of my fur. Lionpaw at Berrynose in Outcast pg 67 ↗

— Erin Hunter

#warriors-cats #humor

Oh man, Alex. That's sad. Seriously, mate, go get yourself laid." "What?" He gave Baldrick a quick kiss on his little head--he didn't care how stupid he looked, he loved his ugly cat--and put him down on his kitty bed in the corner. "Isn't that what single sad people do--get cats when they've given up on human companionship? ↗

— L.A. Gilbert

#the-truth-about-cats #love

One of my biggest fears is that I'm going to die alone in my home, and my cats will eat me because I am too dead to open their food cans. ↗

— Kelli Jae Baeli

#death #die #fear #food #humor

If my love for cats were hydrogen, there’d be enough of it to give you skin cancer if you didn’t wear suntan lotion. The only sad part for me about getting a cat from the pound is that I can only choose one. If I could, I’d take home all of them. Actually, my view is why take them home? Why not just move in to an animal shelter? But my future wife wouldn’t go for that. Though I’m pretty sure she could move into a shoe store no problem. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#cats #hydrogen #pound #sun #suntan-lotion