#ch

Do you know what the difference is between Friendship and Love? Friendship is the photograph, Love is the oil painting. ↗

— Frank Delaney

#love #the-matchmaker-of-kenmare #friendship

The way I wrestle five-year-olds makes me think if I were ever attacked by a pack of midgets, I’d be OK.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#attacked #children #funny #humor #kids

I want to go to sleep in my time machine and wake up eight hours in the future. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#future #sleep #time-machine #funny

We are more disturbed by a calamity which threatens us than by one which has befallen us. ↗

— John Lancaster Spalding

#disturbed #more #than #threatens #us

A Kiss is a terrible name for a piece of chocolate shaped like a water droplet, because kisses are hot and would melt chocolate—even if it is wearing an astronaut suit made out of tinfoil.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#chocolate #funny #humor #kiss #melt

Friendship gives us the strength to turn from lambs into lions. ↗

— Stephen Richards

#friendly #friends #friendship #friendship-and-love #friendship-true-and-loyal

La cucaracha, La cucaracha, Ya no puede caminar, porque no tiene, porque le falta, I don't know the rest, la la la la! ↗

— Simone Elkeles

#carlos-fuentes #funny #perfect-chemistry #rules-of-attraction #simone-elkeles

She didn't care that people called her a bitch. 'It's just another word for feminist,' she told me with pride. ↗

— Gayle Forman

#funny #if-i-stay #funny

I will never buy a fish tank, because I don't believe in supporting the funding of aquatic war machines. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#fish-tank #funny #nonsense #pacifism #funny

I want to be strapped to a table, while a family of chickens argues over who gets to eat my legs. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#chicken #funny #family