#child

The only bright spot in the entire evening was the presence of Kevin "Tubby" Matchwell, the eleven-year-old porker who tackled the role of Santa with a beguiling authenticity. The false beard tended to muffle his speech, but they could hear his chafing thighs all the way to the North Pole. ↗

— David Sedaris

#christmas #humor #santa #humor

When I was a kid we played cowboys and Indians, and I always wanted to be an Indian when I grew up. ↗

— Ville Valo

#cowboys-and-indians #games #grow #humor #pursue

Don't you make fun of me or my children! Some babies are premature. Mine were all postmature. That's why they're so smart. Their brains had longer to develop. ↗

— Jeannette Walls

#humor #humor

Gerti didn’t ask for help.” Miri swallowed and tried to calm her quavering voice. “It was my fault.” “So it was. Now you all have learned that those who speak out of turn choose punishment for themselves and anyone they speak to.” “So if I speak to you, Tutor Olana, will you get the lashes? ↗

— Shannon Hale

#fantasy #humor #romance #humor

We lose our soul, to find our life. ↗

— Joanne Crisner

#inspirational #loss #lost #inspirational

Adults...struggle desperately with fiction, demanding constantly that it conform to the rules of everyday life. Adults foolishly demand to know how Superman can possibly fly, or how Batman can possibly run a multibillion-dollar business empire during the day and fight crime at night, when the answer is obvious even to the smallest child: because it's not real. ↗

— Grant Morrison

#batman #children #comics #fiction #literature

I was a very, very serious child... I was valedictorian of my kindergarten and eighth-grade class. ↗

— Christine Lavin

#class #i #kindergarten #serious #very

If kids six and under eat free, then I’m an infant. Or at least infantile. Bring on the steaks.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#cheap #cheater #children #dinner #discount

We are each other's seventh largest trading partner, we are the fifth largest investor there and likewise, we have a lot of exchanges between political leaders, businessmen, tourists and school children too. ↗

— Sellapan Ramanathan

#businessmen #children #each #exchanges #fifth

I quickly, swiftly, reach in, pluck out, and peer into the mirror. 'I am still here.' I am in the glass, in this moment. After this moment, I may not be here; I may be a person who does not know where she is, or why. I leave the kitchen table to bathe, and to dress for church. If only my closet held on its shelves an array of faces I could wear rather than dresses, I would know which face to put on today. As for the dresses, I haven't a clue. ↗

— Tim Cummings

#afterlife #astrology #brothers #children-of-celebrities #class-struggle