#children

What must I do now?” Mrs. Muller considered her silently for a while. “You are still a child. You must go where you are told and do as you are told. But it won’t always be so. Soon you will be in charge of yourself. Until that time: Be aware. Listen. Look. Touch. Smell. And remember. But for now, you must go home. ↗

— Masha du Toit

#children #do-as-you-re-told #growing-up #home

I know that big people don't like questions from children. They can ask all the questions they like, How's school? Are you a good boy? Did you say your prayers? but if you ask them did they say their prayers you might be hit on the head. ↗

— Frank McCourt

#humor #humor

America used to live by the motto "Father Knows Best." Now we're lucky if "Father Knows He Has Children." We've become a nation of sperm donors and baby daddies. ↗

— Stephen Colbert

#children #fathers #funny #humor #funny

Ourchestra: So you haven't got a drum, just beat your belly. So I haven't got a horn-I'll play my nose. So we haven't any cymbals- We'll just slap our hands together, And though there may be orchestras That sound a little better With their fancy shiny instruments That cost an awful lot- Hey, we're making music twice as good By playing what we've got! ↗

— Shel Silverstein

#humor #poems #humor

Anybody who hates dogs and babies can't be all bad. ↗

— Leo Rosten

#children #humor #w-c-fields #humor

One does silly things when one is twelve. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#infatuation #love #silly #youth #love

It's important for us to explain to our nation that life is important. It's not only life of babies, but it's life of children living in, you know, the dark dungeons of the Internet. ↗

— George W. Bush

#bushism #children #dungeon #humor #internet

That’s the thing about living vicariously; it’s so much faster than actual living. In a few minutes we’ll be worrying about names for the children. ↗

— Audrey Niffenegger

#humor

The only bright spot in the entire evening was the presence of Kevin "Tubby" Matchwell, the eleven-year-old porker who tackled the role of Santa with a beguiling authenticity. The false beard tended to muffle his speech, but they could hear his chafing thighs all the way to the North Pole. ↗

— David Sedaris

#christmas #humor #santa #humor

Don't you make fun of me or my children! Some babies are premature. Mine were all postmature. That's why they're so smart. Their brains had longer to develop. ↗

— Jeannette Walls

#humor #humor