#ck

My sense of teasing is completely lost on you.", Patrick said, hoisting himself back up. "It's a shame too. Most people tell me my sense of humor is my best quality, only outdone by my otherworldly good looks. ↗

— Nicole Williams

#patrick #humor

Don't live with writers. Writers are bastards. ↗

— Warren Ellis

#humor

Didn't anyone tell you that size doesn't matter?" "Yes, but I told him to put his pants back on and go home. ↗

— Christine Warren

#humorous #humor

You’re like seven feet tall, aren’t you?” “I am not seven feet tall,” he snapped at her as if she’d really insulted him. “I’m six-eleven.” When she smirked in disbelief, he added, “And three-quarters. ↗

— Shelly Laurenston

#humor #lock #humor

From this moment on I'd dedicate my life to rock and roll and take as many drugs as possible. What could possibly go wrong? ↗

— Craig Ferguson

#humor #rock-and-roll #humor

Fortunately, he'd found that most people were easy to locate at five thirty in the morning. . ↗

— Patricia Briggs

#charles-cornick #cry-wolf #humor #morning #wake-up

You're a fine fastidious young man, as proud as a lion, as gentle as a girl. You'd make a good catch for the devil. ↗

— Honoré de Balzac

#coolness #eloquence #humor #swagger #humor

Despite the fact that an Indonesian island chicken has probably had a much more natural life than one raised on a battery farm in England, people who wouldn't think twice about buying something oven-ready become much more upset about a chicken that they've been on a boat with, so there is probably buried in the Western psyche a deep taboo about eating anything you've been introduced to socially. ↗

— Douglas Adams

#ethics #humor #vegetarian #vegetarianism #humor

If you're reading this, I'm either a wolf for good, or you're Ulrik and you should get the hell out of my stuff. ↗

— Maggie Stiefvater

#humor #life #humor

You show me what someone listens to, I’ll tell you everything you want to know about his soul. (For instance, a bunch of Nickelback albums would have indicated he never had a soul in the first place.) ↗

— Tad Williams

#music #nickelback #soul #humor