#ck

He just raised the dead with coke and cheeseburgers ↗

— Rick Riordan

#nico #percy-jackson-and-the-olympians #humor

Simple shit makes this chick crap bubbles and rainbows" -Beckett ↗

— Debra Anastasia

#debra-anastasia #humor #poughkeepsie #humor

Reluctantly she lifted her eyes to his, and he went on: "I want you to understand this as though I were one of your own people." He drew in a deep breath. "Thank you. Thank you for your friendship. Thank you for my life. ↗

— R.J. Anderson

#knife #paul-mccormick #friendship

The dumber people think you are, the most surprised they're going to be when you kill them. ↗

— William Clayton

#killing #humor

I'm allergic to rocks hitting me in the face. ↗

— Mike Rowe

#humor #rocks #humor

What just like that? You're not going to tell the chicken plucker you're leaving?" "She already knows," Grimalkin said picking his way across the yard. "And incidentally, 'the old chicken plucker' can hear every word you say, so I suggest we hurry. After she is done with the fowl, she intends to come after you as well. ↗

— Julie Kagawa

#humor #puck #humor

No one messes around with a nerd’s computer and escapes unscathed. ↗

— E.A. Bucchianeri

#computer-hackers #computers #funny #geek #geek-humor

Tyson was still staring at Chiron in amazement. He whimpered like he wanted to pat Chiron's flank but was afraid to come closer. "Pony? ↗

— Rick Riordan

#percy-jackson #humor

Sitting on my stool I thought of a bumper sticker: "If Mean People Suck, Why Isn't My Dick In Your Mouth? ↗

— Paul Neilan

#humor #humor

There's a boy who they call Pony! He's always acting gross and horny! He thinks he's got a lot down there, but he sure wears tiny underwear! ↗

— Cecily von Ziegesar

#humor