#co

Ah coffee. The sweet balm by which we shall accomplish today's tasks. ↗

— Holly Black

#funny #ironside #funny

I've been to Canada, and I've always gotten the impression that I could take the country over in about two days. ↗

— Jon Stewart

#always #been #canada #could #country

I think the warning labels on alcoholic beverages are too bland. They should be more vivid. Here is one I would suggest: "Alcohol will turn you into the same asshole your father was. ↗

— George Carlin

#funny #humor #laugh #warning-labels #funny

I am a master of logic and a powerfully convincing debater. In fact, against my better judgment, I can talk myself out of doing anything. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#debate #dialogue #funny #humor #judgement

I felt like an animal, and animals don’t know sin, do they? ↗

— Jess C. Scott

#cool #desire #erotic #erotica #funny

Ash is going to kick your ass, Daemon." Daemon's grin went up a notch. "Nah, she likes my ass too much for that. ↗

— Jennifer L. Armentrout

#daemon #funny #funny

A Kiss is a terrible name for a piece of chocolate shaped like a water droplet, because kisses are hot and would melt chocolate—even if it is wearing an astronaut suit made out of tinfoil.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#chocolate #funny #humor #kiss #melt

Shane looked…pale. Pale and shaken and—how predictable was this?—pissed. ↗

— Rachel Caine

#morganville-vampires #shane-collins #funny

She was an idiot. An adorable, gorgeous, feisty, funny, sweet, sexy idiot. ↗

— Sarah Mayberry

#funny #humour #romance #funny

I want to mail my mailman something. He always brings me mail, yet I never give him any mail. Maybe he will appreciate the thought, or maybe he will feel I am making more work for him. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#considerate #funny #humor #jarod-kintz #mail