#co

If I had no sense of humor, I would long ago have committed suicide. ↗

— Mahatma Gandhi

#ago #committed #had #i #long

You smell good," he whispered into my neck. He was warm against me. Instinctively, I arched back into him and smiled. "Really?" "Mmm-hmm. Delicious. Like bacon. ↗

— Michelle Hodkin

#humor #mara-dyer #noah-shaw #ya #humor

Sensitive," I tried. Sam translated: "Squishy." "Creative." "Dangerously emo." "Thoughtful." "Feng shui." I laughed so hard I snorted. "How do you get feng shui out of 'thoughtful'?" "You know, because in feng shui, you arrange furniture and plants and stuff in thoughtful ways." Sam shrugged. "To make you calm. Zenlike. Or something. I'm not one hundred percent sure how it all works, besides the thoughtful part. ↗

— Maggie Stiefvater

#humor #word-association #humor

Don't ever call me mad, Mycroft. I'm not mad. I'm just ... well, differently moraled, that's all. ↗

— Jasper Fforde

#evil #humor #political-correctness #humor

Is there any point asking what you're going to make me do on Sunday?" "Not really." Okay. "Is there any point asking what you're going to do to me?" He grinned wickedly. "Not really." Fabulous. "Does it involve the use of a safe word?" "That will depend entirely on you." Noah moved impossibly closer, just inches away. A few freckles disappeared into the scruff on his jaw. "I'll be gentle," Noah added. My breath caught in my throat as he looked at me from beneath those lashes, ruining me. I narrowed my eyes at him. "You're evil." In response, Noah smiled, and raised his finger to gently tap the tip of my nose. "And you're mine," he said, then walked away. ↗

— Michelle Hodkin

#humor #mara-dyer #noah-shaw #sexy #ya

I have only made this letter longer because I have not had the time to make it shorter." (Letter 16, 1657) ↗

— Blaise Pascal

#conciseness #correspondence #humor #letters #pithy

I don't think you should be an Auror, Harry," said Luna unexpectedly. Everybody looked at her. "The Aurors are part of the Rotfang Conspiracy, I thought everyone knew that. They're working to bring down the Ministry of Magic from within using a mixture of dark magic and gum disease. ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#conspiracy #gum-disease #harry-potter #humor #luna-lovegood

Really, these wizards! You'd think no one had ever had a cold before! Well, what is it?" she asked, hobbling through the bedroom door onto the filthy carpet. "I'm dying of boredom," Howl said pathetically. "Or maybe just dying. ↗

— Diana Wynne Jones

#howl-pendragon #humor #insuferable #lazy #sophie-hatter

You look as scary as a buttered muffin. ↗

— Tamora Pierce

#harmlessness #humor #tortall #humor

I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time. ↗

— Steven Wright

#back #coffee #i #instant #microwave