#coffin

Before he sat down, my internal heat-seekers sensed what was coming my way: deep blue eyes that melted girls like Velveeta in a microwave. I tried to resist those microwave eyes, but sometimes there's no defense against them. I had a feeling I'd be seeing him weeping over my coffin later that night. ↗

— Natalie Standiford

#humor #microwaves #natalie-standiford #humor

Today, a couple with 'just married' tags collided head-on with a hearse carrying two coffins in the back, both of a married couple that had previously died in a car accident. ↗

— Anthony Liccione

#bad-marriage #coffin #couple #curse #death

People who leave Washington do so by way of the box... ballet or coffin. ↗

— Claiborne Pell

#box #coffin #leave #people #washington

Raven: "You don't have a hot date, do you?" Alexander: "Yes. I do, as a matter of fact." Raven: "You do?" Alexander: "Yes, and it is almost ending. ↗

— Ellen Schreiber

#alexander-sterling #ellen-schreiber #raven #raven-madison #the-coffin-club

Perhaps because it seems so appropriate, I don't notice the rain. It falls in sheets, a blanket of silvery thread rushing to the hard almost-winter ground. Still, I stand without moving at the side of the coffin. ↗

— Michelle Zink

#coffins #death #funerals #rainy-day #death

I got you a birthday present. The box is the exact same size as a coffin.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#coffin #death #funny #gift #humor

Floating in the sky, which was just beginning to turn pink, was a large, oblong cross about which flew several silent crows, like a sinister flock of winged coffins. ↗

— Agustin Espinosa

#cross #crow #sky #surreal #surreal

I don't want to own anything that won't fit into my coffin. ↗

— Fred Allen

#coffin #fit #i #into #own

Products made in China are cheap through the exploitation of the workforce. Every time we shop, we are driving the nail further into the coffin of American manufacturing jobs. ↗

— Joe Baca

#cheap #china #coffin #driving #every

I am my heart's undertaker. Daily I go and retrieve its tattered remains, place them delicately into its little coffin, and bury it in the depths of my memory, only to have to do it all again tomorrow. ↗

— Emilie Autumn

#am #bury #coffin #daily #depths