#col

When she absently worried her bottom lip with one of her adorable little fangs, he sighed. The Enemy of Old fucking sighed. Dear gods, it’d finally happened to him. Happiness. Then his own fangs sharpened.I will kill anyone who tries to take this feeling away from me. ↗

— Kresley Cole

#funny #happiness #immortals-after-dark #kresley-cole #lothaire

How'd you get to be so good at this?" "I had a good teacher." "Better not have been Myrnin or I'll have to kick his predatory ass." "I mean you, dummy." "Oh. ↗

— Rachel Caine

#funny #ghost-town #humor #morganville-vampires #myrnin

She was staring at you.’’ ‘‘What can I say? Irresistible.’’ ‘‘Shane, it’s not funny. I just—you should be careful.’’ ‘‘Always am.’’ Which was an absolute lie. Shane’s eyes fixed on hers, and she felt a burst of heat inside that crept up to burn in her cheeks. He smiled slowly. ‘‘Jealous?’’ ‘‘Maybe.’’ ‘‘No reason. I like my ladies with a pulse. ↗

— Rachel Caine

#feast-of-fools #morganville-vampires #shane-collins #funny

I started down but Sam caught my arm and knelt down himself to look. "For crying out loud," he said. "It's a racoon." "Poor thing," I said. "It could be a rabid baby-killer," Cole told me primly. "Shut up," Sam said pleasantly. ↗

— Maggie Stiefvater

#funny #grace-brisbane #prim #rabid #racoon

I think so,” she [Claire] said. “Just watch your back, okay?” “Nah, Michael’s got mine.” He [Shane] looked straight into her eyes. “I’ve got yours. ↗

— Rachel Caine

#eve-rosser #funny #ghost-town #humor #michael-glass

Remember the days when you let your child have some chocolate if he finished his cereal? Now, chocolate is one of the cereals. ↗

— Robert Orben

#cereal #chocolate #funny #humor #old

Funny, gorgeous, and a genius. What a package." He backed out of the parking space, smiling as he drove away. I loved that he left crazy off the list. I loved it even more that he would never think to add it. ↗

— Myra McEntire

#hourglass #michael-weaver #funny

I wouldn’t advise making a four-year commitment to eventually land an $8.00/hour job. Skip college. Read Wikipedia for free instead. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #humor #scam #truth #university

Ah college years, those were the days. Pure freedom ... leaving home for the first time…the parties…” "What about the tutorials, the lectures, the large building with all the books called the ‘library’?” “Is that what those were?” Gerry blithely replied. ↗

— E.A. Bucchianeri

#college #colleges #funny #humor #humour

There's definitely a world view among college students that appreciates the need to act in the international community. ↗

— Jeanne Shaheen

#among #appreciates #college #college students #community