#con

These golf people seem unnaturally obsessed. They dress kind of funny too, and it's become a running joke for Gretchen and I to e-mail the most ridiculous golfing pictures back and forth to each other. Sometimes she adds hysterical captions. She never puts them on PitchBitch, though. We can't threaten the gravy train. ↗

— Shawn Klomparens

#golf #humor #funny

We’re adults. I might be a little more of an adult if you’re counting years but I bet I have a lower IQ, so that puts us pretty much even. ↗

— Robyn Carr

#cute #funny #humour #romance #romantic

Spending one’s last moments prostrated before the toilet is the supreme act of repentance. It allows one to relieve a heavy inner burden. ↗

— Bauvard

#confession #funny #humor #prostration #toilet

If consulted about my conception, I would have taken one look at the two pitiful specimens contributing to the project and considered it a poor investment. ↗

— Bauvard

#funny #humor #funny

A brick could be used to increase your annual sales. But before you can sell, you’ve got to buy. For just $9.99 I’ll show you how a common brick can transform you into an uncommon salesman. 
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #buy

I directed my first film. It’s about the economy and it’s called “Bend Over.” It’s an hour and a half of a single continuous shot of an ass, naked and bent over. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#economy #funny #humor #funny

I happen to find ceilings much lovelier than the night sky myself. Sometimes I just stare at them for hours and wonder what could be up there. ↗

— Bauvard

#ceilings #constellations #funny #humor #sky

However, in modern conceptual frameworks there is a more sophisticated view. I would say that the act of music exists in several worlds simultaneously. ↗

— Robert Fripp

#conceptual #exists #however #i #modern

He speaks in that strange sports talk, telling me about the start of the new season and asks if I follow baseball. No. I really don’t. He assures me if I stay in town long enough I will become a baseball fan. It’s a requirement of living in St. Louis. Everyone is a Cardinal’s fan. “Loyal,” he tells me. St. Louis is a loyal town. ↗

— Gwenn Wright

#cardinals #contemporary #gothic #historical-fiction #missouri

Maybe it’s NOT Maybelline. Maybe you were just born with it. ↗

— Mandy Hale

#beautiful #beauty #being-yourself #confidence #inner-beauty