#con

These golf people seem unnaturally obsessed. They dress kind of funny too, and it's become a running joke for Gretchen and I to e-mail the most ridiculous golfing pictures back and forth to each other. Sometimes she adds hysterical captions. She never puts them on PitchBitch, though. We can't threaten the gravy train. ↗

— Shawn Klomparens

#golf #humor #funny

We’re adults. I might be a little more of an adult if you’re counting years but I bet I have a lower IQ, so that puts us pretty much even. ↗

— Robyn Carr

#cute #funny #humour #romance #romantic

Spending one’s last moments prostrated before the toilet is the supreme act of repentance. It allows one to relieve a heavy inner burden. ↗

— Bauvard

#confession #funny #humor #prostration #toilet

If consulted about my conception, I would have taken one look at the two pitiful specimens contributing to the project and considered it a poor investment. ↗

— Bauvard

#funny #humor #funny

A brick could be used to increase your annual sales. But before you can sell, you’ve got to buy. For just $9.99 I’ll show you how a common brick can transform you into an uncommon salesman. 
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #buy

I directed my first film. It’s about the economy and it’s called “Bend Over.” It’s an hour and a half of a single continuous shot of an ass, naked and bent over. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#economy #funny #humor #funny

I happen to find ceilings much lovelier than the night sky myself. Sometimes I just stare at them for hours and wonder what could be up there. ↗

— Bauvard

#ceilings #constellations #funny #humor #sky

Calm down, I'm calling you to say I'm capsized, staring on the edge of safe. Calm down, I'm calling back to say I'm home now I,m coming around, coming around nobody likes to but I really like to cry nobody likes me maybe if I cry. ↗

— Tegan Quin

#tegan-and-sara #tegan-quin #the-con #home

rolf! what? are you really rolling on the floor laughing? well, please stay down there for a sec while I KICK YOUR ASS. ↗

— David Levithan

#acronyms #emoticons #humor #internet-slang #humor

However, because they have no actual interests of their own (or if they do, they squelch them in order to fit in) and merely pursue those that they think will look best on their college apps, they're zombies. ↗

— Meg Cabot

#humor #indiviualism #humor