#d

A well-read woman is a dangerous creature. ↗

— Lisa Kleypas

#reading #wallflowers #women #humor

Ha-ha! Ah-hahahaha! I am wizard; hear me roar! ↗

— Jim Butcher

#humor #humor

It wasn't the tequila and oxy. You really are that fucking gorgeous. ↗

— Adrian Phoenix

#dante #humor #in-the-blood #humor

A recent police study found that you're much more likely to get shot by a fat cop if you run. ↗

— Dennis Miller

#fat #found #get #likely #more

Honey, I liked the Harry Potter movies, too, but that doesn’t mean I ran out and got a Dark Mark tattooed onto my left forearm like you did. ↗

— Jim Butcher

#humor #humor

YOU are the big drop of dew under the lotus leaf, I am the smaller one on its upper side,' said the dewdrop to the lake. ↗

— Rabindranath Tagore

#humour #inspirational #philosophy #stray-birds #humor

Beside me, Molly rolled her shoulders in a few jerky motions and pushed at her hair in fitful little gestures. She tugged at her well-tattered skirts, and grimaced at her boots. "Can you see if there’s any mud on them?" I paused to consider her for a second. Then I said, "You have two tattoos showing right now, and you probably used a fake ID to get them. Your piercings would set off any metal detector worth the name, and you’re featuring them in parts of your anatomy your parents wish you didn’t yet realize you had. You’re dressed like Frankenhooker, and your hair has been dyed colors I previously thought existed only in cotton candy.” I turned to face the door again. “I wouldn’t waste time worrying about a little mud on the boots. ↗

— Jim Butcher

#humor #molly-carpenter #humor

I am ever a gentle maiden," she shouted. "Damn if I'm not. ↗

— Julie Garwood

#humor #julie-garwood #romance-novels #humor

If Pac-Man had affected us as kids, we'd all be running around in dark rooms, munching pills and listening to repetitive electronic music. ↗

— Marcus Brigstocke

#humor #influence #joke #video-games #humor

This was supposed to be yesterday. I was sitting on the Cardiff/London train, supposedly about to write this very column, and realising something quite terrible. My head was entirely empty. A vast echoing void. Bigger on the inside, but with nothing in it. You could drop a pebble in my brain and wait for an hour to hear it land. No actually, you couldn't - that would be aggressive and unhelpful, so keep your damn pebbles to yourself. ↗

— Steven Moffat

#humor #humour #magazine #pebbles #train