#d

The American education system couldn't be more badly directed or poorly funded if the Secretary of Education were Ed Wood. ↗

— Dennis Miller

#badly #directed #ed #education #funded

The average American's day planner has fewer holes in it than Ray Charles's dart board. ↗

— Dennis Miller

#average #board #charles #dart #day

Two wrongs may not make a right, but a thousand wrongs make a writer. ↗

— Dennis Miller

#may #right #thousand #two #writer

Death, they say, acquits us of all obligations. ↗

— Michel de Montaigne

#obligations #say #they say #us

What is guilt? Guilt is the pledge drive constantly hammering in our heads that keeps us from fully enjoying the show. Guilt is the reason they put the articles in Playboy. ↗

— Dennis Miller

#constantly #drive #enjoying #fully #guilt

What's so touching is the way we fight the war right until the moment our business is taken care of and then we turn on a dime and we immediately start taking care of people. It's like a shock and aw shucks campaign. ↗

— Dennis Miller

#business #campaign #care #dime #fight

Why is electricity so expensive these days? Why does it cost so much for something I can make with a balloon and my hair? ↗

— Dennis Miller

#cost #days #does #electricity #expensive

The noir hero is a knight in blood caked armor. He's dirty and he does his best to deny the fact that he's a hero the whole time. ↗

— Frank Miller

#best #blood #deny #dirty #does

My feeling is that the hero has now been defined by phrases like the odious one that we were all raised with - crimes does not pay. Of course it pays, you schmuck. That's not why we don't do it. We don't do it because it is wrong. ↗

— Frank Miller

#been #course #crimes #defined #does

Think of me as the weathered sheriff coming back into Dodge 'cause the youngsters are shooting up the church and scaring the horses and not doing right by the women. ↗

— Frank Miller

#cause #church #coming #dodge #doing