#d

People ask why are you so strange and I always reply why are you so normal... ↗

— Shadowstorm Norwicca

#shadowstorm #humor

He has a passport," my classmates would whisper. "Quick, let's run before he judges us! ↗

— David Sedaris

#judgement #travel #humor

Whoever had said in the guidebooks that the bum bag was a sensible device against theft had lied; no single item of dressware ever invented cried out "mug me" more than a pouch of zip-up plastic suspended by your groin. ↗

— Kate Griffin

#fanny-pack #humor #kate-griffin #the-midnight-mayor #humor

I'm an angel of death. I don't need night school, woman. You should just give up on this detective shit and start killing people for a living. It's simple, honest work, and you ain't got the brains for anything else. ↗

— Ilona Andrews

#death

And now, dear Mr. Worthing, I will not intrude any longer into a house of sorrow. I would merely beg you not to be too much bowed down by grief. What seem to us bitter trials are often blessings in disguise. This seems to me a blessing of an extremely obvious kind. ↗

— Oscar Wilde

#humor #humor

I believe you are one of the people that can lift the corners of the universe. ↗

— Ann M. Martin

#great #hattie #humor #humor

A word, Sir Jamie. Quickly!" You may speak freely, Alwyn," Jamie sighed. "You are always making too mcuh of minor incidents." You're no' going to believe it, Sir Jamie," Alwyn gasped. "But I swear every male Fergusson alive is outside our gate. ↗

— Johanna Lindsey

#humor #raid #humor

The fortifications have never been attacked, nor has any sane man ever proposed any reason why they should be attacked. They have never defended anything. Fourteen hundred persons are said to have died while building them. Of these fourteen hundred, about half are said to have been executed in public for substandard zeal. ↗

— Kurt Vonnegut

#humor #vonnegut #zeal #humor

Ten years, she's dead, and I still find myself some mornings reaching for the phone to call her. She could no more be gone than gravity or the moon. ↗

— Mary Karr

#grief #loss #death

The warrior may fight for gold or for an immediate gain, or for something to take home for the winter to feed the family. The soldier is part of a more complex society. He's fighting for a group ethic of some sort. ↗

— C. J. Cherryh

#ethic #family #feed #fight #fighting