#dani

His Majesty needs a can-I girl anyway. And I'm not it." "A can-I girl?" Andrea frowned. I leaned back. " ` Can I fetch you your food, Your Majesty? Can I tell you how strong and mighty you are, Your Majesty? Can I pick out your fleas, Your Majesty? Can I kiss your ass, Your Majesty? Can I . . ." It dawned on me that Raphael was sitting very still. Frozen, like a statue, his gaze fixed on the point above my head. "He's standing behind me, isn't he?" Andrea nodded slowly. "Technically it should be `may I,'" Curran said, his voice deeper than I remembered. "Since you're asking permission. ↗

— Ilona Andrews

#beast-lord #curran #kate-daniels #raphael #food

No man can take your freedom from you. They can limit your mobility, but that's about all they can do ↗

— Danielle Steel

#golden #moments #freedom

Kate's Speciality: Killing things, with much bloodshed. Talking trash, infuriating authority. Driving Beast Lord crazy. ↗

— Ilona Andrews

#ilona-andrews-website #kate-daniels #magic-bleeds #funny

He raised his hand in a peaceful gesture. "You need to relax a bit, dove. Like Mouse over there. You trust me, don't you, Mouse?" "Nope!" "Ahhh, I'm hurt. Nobody likes me. ↗

— Ilona Andrews

#funny #julie #kate #kate-daniels #magic-burns

He gives me a look that says, “Dude, if I knew that do you think I’d have enlisted your puny help?” I snicker. “Something funny here.” “You. All prickly and pissed ’cause there’s something you don’t know. Got to call on the megaservices of the Mega.” “Ever occur to you I’m using you for reasons your inferior human brain can’t begin to understand. ↗

— Karen Marie Moning

#ryodan #funny

A shadow crossed Andrea's face. "I don't want to be his TWT-IHFB." "What does that mean?" "That Weird Thing I Haven't Fucked Before." I choked. ↗

— Ilona Andrews

#kate-daniels #shapeshifter #vampyre #funny

It's not a stereotype if it's always true. ↗

— Daniel Tosh

#daniel-tosh #funny #funny

With the Book hitching rides, hiding on people, guess we’re all going to be dressing like skanks for a while, huh? Skintight or skin. Dude, everybody’s everything’s gonna be hanging out, and some o’ those fat chicks at the abbey are gonna gross my eyeballs right outta my head. Muffin tops and camel toes, gah! ↗

— Karen Marie Moning

#funny #funny

And Mega has a crush on Chester." "I do not!" "Do too, Mega." "He's like, old!" "How old, Christian says." "Like at least thirty or something." Lor laughs. " Fucking ancient, ain't it, kid?" "Dude," I agree. I like Lor. ↗

— Karen Marie Moning

#dani #humor #lor #humor

It's just another of Robin's sayings. Like, 'Holy strawberries, Batman, we're in a jam! Or, Holy Kleenex, Batman, it was right under our nose and we blew it! ↗

— Karen Marie Moning

#dani-o-malley #humor #humor