#de

As a confirmed melancholic, I can testify that the best and maybe only antidote for melancholia is action. However, like most melancholics, I suffer also from sloth. ↗

— Edward Abbey

#cures #depression #depression-humor #modern-life #humor

Mrs. Palmer is a teacher so naturally I assumed she would never do anything good for me. ↗

— Jim Benton

#diary #dumb #humor #teacher #humor

It was no mean trick doing the wiring with those mittens on. But I managed it and crawled out, batting spiders into the shadows. I could hear a thud as they hit the floor joists, then a scuttling sound, then, worst of all, the silence of spiders. ↗

— Bailey White

#spiders #humor

Unsere Landschaft ist nicht so dramatisch wie die Alpen, aber ausreichend dramatisch. Das Wasser in unserem See ist nicht so warm wie auf den Malediven, aber ausreichend warm. Die Bären in unseren Wäldern sind nicht so groß wie in Alaska, aber ausreichend groß." Solche Werbung gibt es wohl wirklich nur in Schweden. Dem Land, wo die Königsfamilie nicht so königlich ist wie in Windsor, aber ausreichend königlich. ↗

— Gunnar Herrmann

#lagom #sweden #humor

Most investigators don't even know what the word means. You stop the cops from using informants and the only crimes they'd ever solve would be those by deranged postal workers who come to work once too often. ↗

— Andrew Vachss

#humor #private-detective #humor

The day my child tries a celery is the most stressful day of my life. ↗

— Ariana Grande

#funny #humor #laugh #funny

Suddenly, I saw ocean again—then another horizon line—but this time the deep blue sky was on the wrong side of the line…the Holy crap, we’re upside down side. ↗

— M.A. George

#humor #paranormal-romance #upside-down #humor

These cities grew in approximately the same places as our cities do now, however different the shape of the continents was. There was even a New York that in some way resembled the New York familiar to all of you, but was much newer, or, rather, more awash with new products, new toothbrushes, a New York with its own Manhattan that stretched out dense with skyscrapers gleaming like the nylon bristles of a brand-new toothbrush. ↗

— Italo Calvino

#humor #surreal #humor

He soon felt that the fulfillment of his desires gave him only one grain of the mountain of happiness he had expected. This fulfillment showed him the eternal error men make in imagining that their happiness depends on the realization of their desires. ↗

— Leo Tolstoy

#imagination

What do you think it means if someone has a tattoo of Thanatos’s symbol?” “Nothing probably, since a lot of us have tattoos of various symbols.” “You don’t.” As soon as the words left my mouth, I regretted them. His eyes turned from gray to silver in a heartbeat. I imagined he was remembering how I would know if he had a tattoo hidden somewhere. ↗

— Jennifer L. Armentrout

#alex #imagination