#de

Just-fucked hair doesn't suit me. ↗

— E.L. James

#humor

He'd kill you all right. No sweat. But for the wrong reasons. Amateur's reasons. Of course, you'll be just as dead. ↗

— Laurell K. Hamilton

#murder #humor

The greater part of the world's troubles are due to questions of grammar. ↗

— Michel de Montaigne

#grammar #humor #misunderstandings #problems #troubles

You’re playing the creepy vibe a little hard,” I said. “Might as well go for broke, put on a black top hat and pipe in some organ music. ↗

— Jim Butcher

#harry-dresden #humor #humor

Any time I’m not shooting my mouth off to a clichéd, two-bit creature of the night like you, it’s because I’m up to something. ↗

— Jim Butcher

#humor #humor

When your past shows up to haunt you, make sure it comes after supper so it doesn't ruin your whole day. ↗

— Jay Wickre

#dark-humor #depression #humor #reality #humor

They aren't the brightest crayons in the box -Max(saving the world and other extreme sports) ↗

— James Patterson

#max #maximum-ride #humor

You're not untrustworthy, you're not cold and you're not a bitch. You have... issues. I get that. We all have issues. But once I realized you were lying to me, I began to understand why. You think you never gave yourself away with me. You think you have time to backpedal and pretend nothing happened between us, because that way if anything ever happens to me, you can tell yourself you don't care, and you don't feel the pain. ↗

— Samantha Young

#love #sweet #love

It is far. But there is no journey upon this earth that a man may not make if he sets his heart to it. There is nothing, Umbopa, that he cannot do, there are no mountains he may not climb, there are no deserts he cannot cross; save a mountain and a a desert of which you are spared the knowledge, if love leads him and he holds his life in his hand counting it as nothing, ready to keep it or to lose it as Providence may order. ↗

— H. Rider Haggard

#love #perseverance #providence #quest #life

Her lips found his and a stab of exquisite desire shot through him. This is what he's been waiting for all this time. Not a stolen embrace. A gift, freely given. One that he would keep forever in some small part of his soul. ↗

— Courtney Milan

#historical-romance #love #love