#deer

This morning, as I was driving to work, I mistook a big brown box on the side of the road for a deer. It was dark, and I swerved at the last second, and even though it wasn’t a deer, I still managed to nail that son of a bitch. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#box #deer #driving #funny #humor

Tell me again was it love at first sight When I walked by and you caught my eye. Didn't you know love could shine this bright? If love was a game, you would never play nice. If love was a beam, you'd be blind in both eyes. Put your sunglasses on 'cause you're a deer in the headlights. ↗

— Owl City

#owl-city #love

It's very ugly' I said generously. 'But it looks as though it would laugh at snow. And, if you hit a deer it would hiccup, and keep going. ↗

— Maggie Stiefvater

#deer #snow #snow

Envy, like the worm, never runs but to the fairest fruit; like a cunning bloodhound, it singles out the fattest deer in the flock. ↗

— Francis Beaumont

#deer #envy #fairest #fattest #flock

I ask people why they have deer heads on their walls. They always say because it's such a beautiful animal. There you go. I think my mother is attractive, but I have photographs of her. ↗

— Ellen DeGeneres

#always #animal #ask #attractive #beautiful

I used to look like a deer in headlights on the red carpet. You step out of the car and it's bedlam. Everyone's got crazy eyes. ↗

— Emily Blunt

#carpet #crazy #deer #everyone #eyes

Small businesses no longer need to feel like a deer in the headlights when considering constructing or updating their Web sites. With ClickThings what you see is what you get, unlike some other competitive Web-based Website building tools. ↗

— Boomer Esiason

#businesses #competitive #considering #constructing #deer

I grew up in New Hampshire. My closest neighbor was a mile away. The deer and the raccoons were my friends. So I would spend time walking through the woods, looking for the most beautiful tropical thing that can survive the winter in the woods in New Hampshire. ↗

— Steven Tyler

#beautiful #closest #deer #friends #grew

The master and mistress of the house and the rest of the Blood -even the Crux himself- brought our food, poured the wine, did our bidding. The centerpiece was a roasted stag. crowned with gilded antlers and stuffed with songbirds; they had hunted well. We were forbidden to kill the deer that fattened on our coleworts and stole our grain, and the venison tasted all the better for the salt of revenge. ↗

— Sarah Micklem

#feast #peasants #revenge #venison #food

Once upon a time, the Reindeer took a running leap and jumped over the Northern Lights. But he jumped too low, and the long fur of his beautiful flowing tail got singed by the rainbow fires of the aurora. To this day the reindeer has no tail to speak of. But he is too busy pulling the Important Sleigh to notice what is lost. And he certainly doesn’t complain. What's your excuse? ↗

— Vera Nazarian

#excuse #excuses #holiday #north #northern